Buck Jokes

Hunting buddies... One morning during hunting season six hunters grouped up to hit the woods. Before they left they decided to go out in pairs and regroup at six o' clock where they parked the trucks. Eventually six o' clock rolls around and they regroup, however they were still missing one pair. Fifteen minutes goes by and they see one of the pair walking up, staggering user the weight of a massive eight point buck. ""What happed to bill!?!"" They ask. The man pauses to catch his breath and say…

A human cannonball comes to work at the circus one day. And she finds that her cannon has been replaced with a bigger one. The ringmaster tells her that a more powerful cannon would please the crowd more. So during the next act, she's fired from this cannon across the whole tent, and the crowd goes wild. The next day, she finds an even bigger cannon. The ringmaster tells her that this cannon will be even more crowd pleasing. So in the next act, she's fired across a field and the crowd goes wild.…

Tooth sale Two buck teeth for 1$ buck

The Baguette Joke A man that works for a large insurance company was sent to see the company's therapist. The therapist asked the man why he was sent to see her. ""I am told I have a speech impediment, but I think the really reason I was sent down here is because I hate baguettes,"" said the man in a crisp and fluid voice. ""That doesn't seem reasonable,"" replied the therapist. ""You don't sound like you have a speech impediment, and I can't see how baguettes are at all relevant to your job."" …

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are usually around a buck fifty, and deer nuts are always under a buck.

Two statisticians go deer hunting... they are out all day long when finally they spot a 5 point buck. They simultaneously crouch down silently, take aim, and shoot. The first statistician fires 20 feet to the left of the deer. The second statistician fires 20 feet to the right of the deer. In unison, they both shout out ""got it""! Thank you folks, I'll be here all week. Tip your waiters.

A skunk, a deer and a giraffe walk into a bar.... The three animals sit down and order a round of drinks. They quickly finish the first round and order a second round, then finish those and order a third round. After they finish the third round, the trio decides its time to move on. When the bartender brings the bill over, the skunk looks at the deer and giraffe and says, ""I'm sorry guys, but I cant pay for this because I only have one scent."" The deer looks at the giraffe and say, ""Sorry bud…

A man walks into a bar.... and he sees that the bartender has a huge pen and a genie lamp. He asks the bartender if he could use the genie lamp and the bartender said yes. The guy wished for a million buck. A few seconds later a million ducks came through the bar door. The guy says ""What the hell!"" I wished for a million bucks. Then the bartender says, ""Oh, I forgot to mention that the genie has bad hearing. Do you think I asked for a 12 inch BIC""

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? One is under buck fifty one is under a buck.

Did you hear about the farmer who equipped all his horses with firearms? He was a man who really wanted more bang for his buck.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter.... Jill came down with two fifty.

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck ninety-nine, but deer nuts are always under a buck

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting? [OC] I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

Bills wife asks him to take her brother bob hunting with him But bill knows bob has narcolepsy, but he does it anyway. Well bill takes bob out to the place where they will be hunting, he hands bob his rifle and tells him you go to the top of that hill and I'll go to the top of this hill. If you shoot and kill a deer I'll help you bring it out, and if I kill a deer you do the same. They take off their separate ways and get to where they will wait, and 20 minutes in bill sees this beautiful buck, …

2 deer hunters go out one fall afternoon in to the forest to get in early for the evening hunt. After hours of hunting they finally kill a large buck. One of the men who was planning on using the bathroom at the campsite near their hunting area decides to take a dump in the woods. As he walks off the other hunter starts to field dress the deer when he thinks of the childish idea to place the intestines of the deer underneath his friend. using his sweet hunting sneak skills he drops off the organ…

Deer nuts and beer nuts What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck fifty and deer nuts are under a buck.

A Skunk, A Deer, and a Giraffe Walk into a bar... They spend the night drinking Jack and Cokes until the bartender hollers ""Last Call!"" When they turn around to leave, the bartender says, ""Hey! You three have to settle up, first."" The Skunk says, ""Not me, I barely have a scent."" The Deer says, ""Oh, it's been a while since I had a buck... but I'm going to have a little doe pretty soon."" The Giraffe just shakes his head and says, ""Bartender, my friends got me again. The highballs are on m…

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are about a buck and deer nuts are under a buck.

Tie Salesman (x-post /r/ShaggyDogStories) A while back, I was working downtown as a handmade tie salesman trying to make a quick buck using a skill I'd learned. Though this was really just a side venture while I tried to find a real job, I was making a decent bit of coin. Additionally, people were recommending me as a source for their neck apparel. One day, this fellow comes up to me and asks whether I'd be willing to teach him the art of tie-making. I tell him I'd be glad to under the condition…

A decides to go hunting He asks his wife to pack his bag for him and fetch him the shotgun. A short while later his wife returns with the goods, telling him she will be going to town later on and the part ways. Out in the woods the man suddenly spots the biggest buck he'd ever seen, he ruffles through his bag, looking for shells but when he takes his hand out: tampons... Furious he races home and waits for his wife. When she gets home he explains what happened. For a minute the wife looks puzzle…

Why'd the man buy a 30 pack of condoms instead of the 10 pack... So he'd get the best bang for his buck.

What do you call a blind, legless buck? No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke?

I think Santa Claus is a woman .... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other err…

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a paralle…

Three animals were having a drink in a cafe when the owner asked for the money. ""I'm not paying"" said the duck. ""I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."" ""I've spent my last buck"" said the deer. ""Then the duck'll have to pay"" said the skunk. ""Getting here cost me my last scent.""