Boston Jokes

Why don't British people pronounce their T's? They left them in the Boston Harbor

""Why don't British people pronounce their T's? Because they're all in the Boston harbor.""

What's the best thing from New York City? The train to Boston

A Bostonian goes to Alabama for the first time. While at a bar, he runs into a native Alabamian. Ala: ""You from 'round here?"" Bos: ""No, I'm from Boston."" Ala: ""Oh, you go t' Princeton?"" Bos: ""No, Yale."" Ala: ""Okay, YOU GO T' PRINCETON?!""

What were the Boston Marathon bombers able to do that Hitler never could? End a race. ^^^^Sorry ^^^^I ^^^^took ^^^^your ^^^^joke ^^^^Kiss_My_Wookiee, ^^^^I'll ^^^^give ^^^^you ^^^^credit ^^^^[here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3m1q23/when_was_that_moment_you_realized_that_youre/cvbh9oe)

Brotherly Love A new Irish pub opens in downtown New York. On the first day, an Irishman walks in and orders three pints of Guinness. He takes a sip from the first one, then a sip from the second and finally a sip from the third. He does this in turn until all pints are empty. This goes on every day for a few weeks, and since the barkeeper has never seen anything like this, he asks about this peculiar drinking habit one day: ""See"", the Irishman says, ""I used to go for a pint together with my …

My black friend was told he couldn't run in the boston marathon Bunch of racists.

There is a line in comedy that you should not cross and that line starts at the Boston Marathon.

A college in Boston is offering a major in comedy... One student commented, ""I think I have a future in this. Every time I tell someone what I'm studying, they laugh.""

the old man and the carrot Once upon a time there was a carrot who got hired to help out this old guy living in Boston. He was one of those freak carrots that had little appendages growing out of his sides that he was somehow able to make function like half-hearted arms. Anyway, he hated working for this old guy-- partly because he could never understand the man with his heavy accent ... everything was like: ""Get the cah ready."" ... ""Clean my ahhctapus"" ... ""Take me to tha pahk."" It was ha…

What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters? They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities.

Didja hear about the new LGBT hockey team gonna play in Boston? (Wait for it ... wait for it ...) Yeah - the Boston Bruouts ...

So the Boston marathon was yesterday... I heard it was an arm and a leg better than last year!

I didn't have fun at the Boston Marathon this year ... back in 2013 it was a blast.

Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends? He was way too autistic for his own good.

Crows in Boston are dying The city of Boston has a problem with crows. They are dying by the thousands and the roadways are littered with the carcasses. The problem is only getting worse. Massachusetts' Dept. of Environmental Protection just completed a study of the problem. The crows are being killed when they are struck by trucks, but they manage to avoid being hit by passenger cars. Since crows are scavengers they eat roadkill and are often in large groups on the roads. Being social animals, …

Why don't the citizens of Boston build igloos? Meh. They just aren't in' uit.

Boston walloped with snow again. If you think traffic is bad here... think about how bad it must be in Seattle with all those bandwagons falling over.

My father was known for running marathons He never came back from the Boston one though But I knew that he'd say it was bomb I'm glad he went out with a bang

The Boston snowstorm so was bad the Canadians reported on it. They called it Tuesday.

What do you call a Paraplegic runner? A Boston Marathon Victim.

What do Hitler and Boston have in common? Neither can finish a race.

Why do Americans drink their tea cold? Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor.

My go-to joke when put on the spot Here's my go-to joke when put on the spot. Submit yours in the comments! One day a Bear walks into a pub. He walks up to the bar, sits down and says to the bartender ""Gimme a beer!"". The bartender looks up and says to the Bear ""I don't serve Beer to Big Bears in my Bar in Boston."" The Bear asks again ""Gimme a beer!!"" The bartender says ""I told you, I don't server Beer to Big Bears in my Bar in Boston."" The Bear now evidently frustrated says to the barke…

Are You From Boston? Because you're the bomb...