Blonde Jokes

A killer jigsaw puzzle... A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, ""Please come over here and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started!"" Her boyfriend asks, ""What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"" The blonde says, ""According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."" Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a mo…

Q: A man walks into the bar and sees a sign: Handjob: $5 Cheese sandwich: $2 He walks over to the bartender, a big boobied blonde, and asks: ""Are you the one giving out handjobs?"" ""Why yes I am!"", she replied, smiling and sticking out her chest. ""Okay,"" he said: ""Now wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich!""

2 blondes A blonde was driving home when she was pulled over by a female cop, also blonde. ""Can I see your ID?"" says the cop. The blonde starts rummaging through her purse and is getting flustered. ""What's it look like again?"" ""It's small, rectangular and looks just like you"" The woman hands the cop a small mirror. ""Like this?"" ""Oh,"" said the cop. ""I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a cop too.""

The Smart Blonde A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a flight from L.A. To New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists. He explains how the game works. ""I ask you a Question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and vice-versa."" Again, the blonde politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawye…

Q: What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress's name tag? A: ""What did you name the other one?""

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the w's.

Two blondes at a bus stop Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop. One takes bus number 2 and the other takes bus number 7. Bus number 27 pulls up. One blonde turns to the other and says: ""Cool, we'll go together!""

sometime in the [near?] future... (blonde joke) love richards is giving president machelle (who is a blonde) her daily briefing when she concludes by saying ""yesterday 5 brazillion soldiers died..."" ""OH NO!!"" the president shouts, everyone is shocked to see her emotions like this. Than the president gathers the courage to ask 1 final question... ""how much zeros are in a brazillion again?

Blonde A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, ""I have a complaint!"" ""How can i help you?"" said the librarian looking up at her. ""I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"" Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked ""What was wrong with it?"" ""It had way too many characters and there was no plot!"" said the blonde. The librarian nodded and said, ""Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book.""

A blonde girl asked her boyfriend... ... If he knows how to repair laptops, he said yes and asked her what brand laptop she has, she said that it's a dy brand, he told that he never heard of the brand and asked her to send a picture of the laptop, she took the picture and sent it to him, he looked at it and he realised that was an upside down HP logo.

A ventriloquist runs a show A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ""I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep wo…

In The Woods. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were walking through the woods one night when they happened upon some tracks. ""I think they're moose tracks!"", said the blonde. ""No, they're deer tracks!"", said the brunette. ""Nuh uh, these are elk tracks!"", chirped the redhead. ...they were still arguing about it when the train hit them.

First class won't go to Detroit!! There was once a blonde woman on a plane to Detroit. She was in the economy class, but after takeoff, she saw an empty seat in first class and moved there. An attendant saw her and said, ""Excuse me, ma'am, but you have a ticket for economy class, not first. You cannot stay here."" The blonde replied, ""I can and I will."" The attendant told the copilot, who came and talked to the woman. ""Ma'am, we really can't have you staying in this seat, your ticket was for…

One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were being chased by the police. The girls decided to go up 3 different trees and hide. The brunette hid in the apple tree. The redhead hid in the lemon tree, and the blonde hid in the oak tree. The policeman went to the apple tree and said, ""Is there anyone up there?"" The brunette went, ""meow"" The policeman said to himself, ""Oh, its just a cat stuck up in a tree!"" Then he went over to the lemon tree and said, ""Is there anyone up there?"" The re…

So a blonde walks into a electronics store She says ""can I buy this TV"" The clerk says no, ""we dont sell to blonds's"" So she buys a redhead wig and goes back into the store she says ""can I buy this TV"" the clerk says ""we dont sell to blonde's"" So she buys a brunette wig and goes into the store She says, ""can I buy this TV"" The clerk says, ""No, we dont sell to blonde's"" The blonde says ""how do you know I'm a blonde"" The clerk says ""Because thats a microwave""

A Blond walks into a Bar ""Ouch""

Blondes A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ""Shut up...you're next!

[blonde] a blonde, ginger and brown hair girls are running from the cops... Than they come across an alley with a dumpster and a sack of potatoes. The ginger hides in the dumpster, under the trash. The brown hides behind the dumpster, than, the blonde hides in the sack of potatoes. Luckily, the cops flashlight was burnt out. The ginger heard the cops walking over to the dumpster, she meowed like a cat. ""there is not a girl here just a cat"" the cops said. they checked behind the dumpster, the b…

What does a blonde playing the drums sound like? Dumb chick dumb chick dumb chick...

Passenger profiled on airplane flight for doing math. I want to know if the profiler is a blonde? Feminist? Liberal arts major?

What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Pulls her pants up and goes home.

A guy walks into a Starbucks and orders a tall blonde to go... The girl behind him then leaves.

in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date? the blonde. she's 18.

Blonde and brunette are stuck in elevator... Blonde starts yelling HELP HELP Brunete: it is better if we yell together. Blonde: TOGETHER TOGETHER

What do you call it when you see a smart blonde A dream