Afghanistan Jokes

There were three guys in Hell - Afghan, American, and a Chinese man. They asked Satan to let them call their family. The American called and talked for 10 minutes. He payed $1,000. The Chinaman called and talked for 15 minutes. He payed $2,000. The Afghan talked for an hour and only paid $10. The other men complained and Satan responded, ""A call from Afghanistan to Hell is local.""

I just found out today that they don't have television in Afghanistan... probably because of the Tele-ban...^Taliban, ^get ^it?

Jesus called a meeting of the disciples in Heaven... ...When they all arrive he mentions that there is a massive drug problem on Earth and they need to find a way to rid the world of it. He suggests that they all go down to Earth, all over, and bring back samples of different drugs so they can examine them and figure out the best way to rid the world of the evils of their usage. They agree and off they go. Later that day there is a knock on the Jesus' door and he goes to answer it. ""Who is it?"…

An Afghan lands at a Pakistani airport, and walks up to the immigration desk. He introduces himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer, as Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan. The surprised Pakistani Officer asks: ""But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping.?"" The Afghan replies: ""Wallah ya Habibi, don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan?""

How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.

Explosive Opportunity A British engineer started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making landmines that look like prayer mats. He says that prophets are going through the roof.

Did you hear about the man running a marathon on the afghanistan border? He actually went 3 miles further... I guess Iran* a little too far *I'm pronouncing it ""e-ran""

3 guys V the Taliban These 3 guys were working in Afghanistan and got captured by the Taliban . In attempt of fairness, they were told to pick an animal in which they could make their escape. However, the Taliban would chase them, and if they were caught, they would die. The first guy choose a horse. He jumped onto the horses back, and rode as fast as he could. Unfortunately it wasn't fast enough, and the Taliban caught him, and killed him. The second guy thought that a camel would be more suite…

What is the national bird of Afghanistan? The Boeing 757

What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home? IUD

After reading that Afghanistan had the highest infant mortality rate, this occurred to me. What do you call Afghan triplets? Twins! I am so sorry....

I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...

So this US general gets stationed at some lost, forgotten war-zone in the remotest reaches of Afghanistan. He gets greeted at the door of his new command by the captain of the troops there. The first thing the General spots and smells is this beat up, dirty, flea bitten camel lying in squalor near the entrance to the place. ""Good God man!!"" he yells at the captain. ""Get that god-forsaken animal the hell out of here! NOW!!!"" ""Sir! Begging the General's pardon but the Camel has a purpose. Y…

Aussie, Osama Bin Laden and Barack Obama (Be warned and don't take offense) An Aussie, Osama Bin Laden and Barack Obama are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. ""I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total,"" says the Genie. The Aussie says, ""I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Australia."" With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Australia was forever …

A British engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. He is making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are through the roof.

What's the difference between a Pakistani mosque and a Afghanistan mosque and an Iraqi mosque? How should I know, I just fly the drones.

A conversation I just had. Friend - ""My Dad just bought a condo in Afghanistan, what an idiot."" Me - ""Are you kidding? Those real estate prices are set to explode.""

Pawdon me, but would anyone like to hear some dog jokes? I was walking through the park the other day when I came across a man playing chess with his pet dog. ""That's amazing!"" I exclaimed. The dog was not phased, and he appeared to be in deep concentration as he peered down at the chess board. It must have been his move. The owner, an elderly man, glanced up at me. ""Whatchya want, laddie?"" ""Your dog- that's astounding! You're playing chess with your dog!"" ""Eh?"" he replied, ""The hound i…

the UN's question the UN asked three countries the same question: does food have limits and freedom the african response was, what is food the american response was, what is limits the response from afghanistan response was what is freedom.

A British engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof.

Sentry A new soldier was posted guard at the gate to the American Base in Afghanistan. His orders were clear: All vehicles had to stop to show ID unless it had a special placard on the dashboard inside the windshield. A black SUV came up with a general seated in the back. The car did not immediately stop, intending to drive through the gate area. The sentry yelled at the drive to stop, almost getting run over as he jumped in front of the car. The driver, a corporal, said, ""I've got General Whee…

My mate Dave's just got back from his third tour of Afghanistan. Hardest bloody bus driver I know.

Investment Opportunity: You might want to consider getting on board early... A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing very well. He says prophets are going through the roof.

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush ""There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!"" George Bush replies ""Oh yeah and tell me what you see?"" Osama answers ""I can see New York with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side and everything is peaceful and wonderful."" George Bush says ""Wow is that what you see? Well I'll tell ya what I see …

Q: Did you know they are taking out all the K-Marts in Afghanistan? A: They are putting in TARGETS!!!