Classic from Middle School George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman are riding together on an airplane. They get to talking about how they want to be remembered. Lincoln says ""I'd like to help the poor, so I'll throw a penny with my face on it so they'll know who helped them."" He throws a penny out the plane window. Washington then says ""I, too, want to help the poor, but I want to give more, so I'll throw a quarter with my face on it so they'll know who helped them."" Truman fina…

Benjamin Franklin and George Washington walk into a bar and sit down next to Trump. Franklin turns to Trump and says: ""I do not believe you understand the value of liberty, my good fellow."" Trump turns to Franklin and gives him a $100 dollar bill and says: ""Of course I do. Money rules this world, Mr. Franklin. That's all I need to know!"" Trump taps Franklin's portrait on the bill. ""Now leave me alone!"" Franklin scoffs at the gesture and walks out the bar. Washington is shocked and loudly e…

Y'all know Bill, right? Bill was bragging to his boss a day ago ""You know, I know a lot of pals. A *lot*. Pick any guy, famous or not, and I probably know him."" To confront this boring boasting, his boss calls his bluff. ""Ok Bill, how about Tom Hanks?"" ""No worry boss,"" says Bill, ""Tom is an old pal of my own, I will show you"" So Bill and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Hanks's door, and Tom Hanks shouts, ""Bill! What's going on? You must sit down with us, drink a pint!"" A…

A foreigners understanding of Romney - aka homeless people around the world A homeless man is sitting in London, spreading shit on a piece of bread and the Prime Minister walks by and says: Oh, you are so poor, have some money."" A homeless man is sitting in Moscow, spreading shit on a piece of bread and Medvedev walks by and says: Oh, you are so poor, have some meal tickets."" A homeless man is sitting in Washington, spreading shit on a piece of bread and Romney walks by and says: THINNER, THIN…