Science Jokes

Factual Science Joke First, there is a type of sugar called fucose. Japanese scientists found genes responsible for making fucose. Some of them were labelled FucA and FucR. A simple chemical reaction can turn fucose into fucitol. God, I feel so nerdy now.

All of the cheesy old chemistry jokes argon so I thought of a new one for you - What does the star of a drag show have in common with pure sodium? If you spill water on them, you get a flaming reaction!

Some farmers with degrees in chemistry... (nerdy joke) A group of business-minded chemists decide to buy a farm and sell produce. Their motto is: ""Every other company's produce contains chemicals, but all of ours is personally guaranteed to be organic!"" Note: No biological warfare is involved in this joke.

A computer scientist, a surgeon, and a civil engineer joke A computer scientist, a surgeon, and a civil engineer were gathered at the pub. The surgeon boasts, Surgery is the oldest technology in the world. It's in the Bible. God removed Adam's rib while he slept. This is clear evidence that surgery pre-dates all other technological endevors. Without so much as a beat, the civil engineer says that before that, God formed the Earth, the stars, and everything from nothing but chaos. He created rive…

Engineers will get it They should call it a ""Bachelor because of Science"".

A science teacher asks her student to stay after class because he repeatedly doesn't hand in his homework... ""Billy,"" the teacher says, ""If you don't hand in your homework one more time you will fail the semester."" ""But I have a reason for why I haven't,"" responded Billy. ""And what is that?"" Asks the teacher. ""Well, we have been studying multiverse theory, so that means that there are many universes just like this one with subtle differences. One where I'm taller, one where I'm a differ…

Two middle aged friends are at a bar... One of the friends says ""I'm sick of not amounting to anything in my life. Tomorrow I'm going to the community college to sign up for classes."" The next day, the man is speaking with a class counselor at the college. The counselor tells him ""I'm going to sign you up for basic math, science, English, and logic classes."" The man says ""Logic? What's that?"" The counselor replies ""I'll give you an example. Do you own a weedwacker?"" The man says ""Yes I …

The teacher in science class asks Little Johnny... ""Why do African American people have yellow eyes?"" Johnny , a little confused , waits for a moment , before replying back, ""OH , i know! it's from all the pepper spray!""

This is an organic chemistry joke A dozen carbon atoms walk into a bar. Not eleven carbon atoms or thirteen carbon atoms, but exactly 12. They order eleven glasses of water. Not 12 glasses of water, and not 10 glasses of water, but exactly eleven glasses of water. What did they get?

I've heard making the perfect salad can be pretty difficult... Not exactly **rocket** science though, is it?

Ten Science Jokes for Nerds * I'm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down. * I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn't seem to be gaining momentum. * Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don't believe in higher powers. * Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't. * Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell. * A group of protesters in front of a physics lab: ""What do we want?"". ""Time travel"" ""When do we want it?"". ""Irrelevant."" * What…

What's your best math/science pick up line?

A young scientist asks his married college friend to stay over for a night. ""Oh man, thanks so much"" He thanks his host. ""We have this huge convention tomorrow and I was too busy on my project I didn't find a place to stay"" ""Sure man, don't mention it"" He replies. ""One more thing though"" Says the scientist. ""I'm testing out this new medicine, it's the project I'll be showcasing tomorrow, but i'm still not quite sure on the side effects. So I have to ask you to bear with me if I'll start…

Are humans closer to the size of an atom or the Earth? An atom. We are only about 2 metres bigger than an atom, but about 12,472 kilometres smaller than the Earth! [Inspiration for this joke.](http://www.reddit.com/r/askscience/comments/2hqkku/am_i_as_a_human_closer_in_size_to_the_earth_or_an/)

Technical truths: according to chemistry, alcohol actually is a solution!!

[Meta] Suggestion: One day a week where puns are not allowed First off, I have nothing against puns. They are great for a quick laugh. The problem with puns is that they are too quick and easy. Right now the front page tends to be dominated by puns, and as such longer and more elaborate jokes have trouble gaining traction. A number of other subreddits do ""no images"" days, or ""text post only"" days. I think this could be a solid addition to this sub, to give more elaborate and complex jokes a …

Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say? ""Does it really matter we make up everything.""

Science joke An ion walks into a bar, ""Just you tonight, sir?"" ""No, I'm waiting on one more.""

Stupid science joke Calcium Carbonate gets into an argument with his friend, electron. ""Why do you always have to be so negative?"" ""Shut up, you're just basic!""

Two Newfies picking college classes. Two Newfies (the Canadian version of blondes I guess) are picking classes for college. The first one goes into the councillors office to sign up. Inside, the councillor says to him, ""I'm going to recommend five classes for you: Math, English, Science, History, and Logic."" ""Logic?"" the Newfie replies. ""What's that?"" ""I'll give you an example,"" the councillor replies. ""Do you own a lawnmower?"" ""Of course!"" ""Well then, using logic, I can reasonably …

Einstein vs Mr. Bean Einstein: Let's make a contest. I'll ask you a question, if you don't know the answer you give me $1. Then you ask me a question and if I don't know the answer I give you $1000. Mr. Bean accepts. Einstein: What's the basic of quantum physics? Mr. Bean: ???? - gives Einstein $1. Einstein: Ok your turn now. Mr. Bean: What has four legs while crossing the street, five legs when sitting down and two legs while flying? Einstein: ???? - gives Mr. Bean $1000. Einstein: But what was…

The Atom and the Cation The Atom says to the Cation, ""who's in charge around here?"" Cation: ""I am!"" Atom: ""Are you sure?"" Cation: ""I'm positive!""

[Request] Drinking or medieval jokes. Super bonus if both. They can certainly be offensive. I'll start. Going on a medieval pub crawl and offensive and/or drinking jokes get you to the head of the line at each bar. I'm hoping you can keep me in the front and my fellow crawlers entertained. But this is r/jokes, so here's ~~one~~ two to get us started: A king was preparing to ride off on a quest. Before he leaves, he locks up the queen with a chastity belt and calls in his most trusted knight and …

I have a similar Russian joke I'll translate to English as best as I can A son comes home from school with a note from the principal, and is met by his dad. ""Dad, the principal asked you to meet him soon."" ""Why? What happened?"" ""Well, during PE today I threw a dodgeball wrong and it smashed the trophy cabinet and now it needs to be replaced."" The next morning, the dad comes with the son to school and talks with the principal, eventually paying out of pocket to replace the cabinet. That eve…

The Newest Jokes Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and…