Russia Jokes

What would happen if Russia ran out of vodka? Well, my dear reddit, in nature there is law of conservation of matter. Therefore, if the vodka disappeared somewhere, it would appear somewhere else. And then there would be Russia.

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia? Because he's snowed-in

Shouldn't russia have the mos dairy? Cause you know, They have the moscow? Sorry for the cheesy joke :/

How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't, it was just an Aleutian.

Why couldnt the NSA whistle blower leave russia? He was snowed in

Why does it smell so bad in Russia? Everybody loves Putin!

Why did the Jews have such a hard time in Russia? They couldn't get with the pogrom.

Where does Russia get its water from? De-stalinization plants

What did Russia say to Ukraine? Crimea River

Russia is invading Ukraine? US: "NATO my watch!"

Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia? He was snowed in.

Why Did The NSA Worker Have To Stay In Russia? He Was Snowed In(Snowden) ;)

Why didn't The Cold War happen? Russia kept Stalin it

What did Russia say to Ukraine after the conflict was over? Cry me a peninsula.

Why do most people from Russia wear track suits? Because they are Russin'

Are you from Russia? Cause I'm Putin deez nuts on yo face.

What does a neckbeard tip his fedora to in soviet russia? "M'otherland"

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common? They are all against Turkey

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers? Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia? The airport is Snowden

How can Russia love pickles and vodka but hate gay people? They have such similar interests

Why is Edward still in Russia? He's Snowden.

Why are firetrucks red? You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

How do you see countries neighboring Russia? Ukraine your neck.

If you could have one super power what would it be? Cold War Russia.