← Back to all jokes

President Jokes

Jokes

Russian prime minister Mishustin comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones. "I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Olaf Scholz to congratulate him on his birthday and he tells me he had it yesterday. - I wish President Xi Jinping a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow." "Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff. Remember when that plane crashed with Prigozhin on board? I …

#Putin#Olaf Scholz#President#Politics+1 more
0
WhatsApp

America vs Russia An American and a Russian are arguing about freedom in their respective countries. The American says proudly: “I can walk into the Oval Office anytime, I can pound the president's desk, and I can say, Mr. President, I don't like the way you're running our country." The Russian replies nonchalantly: "Yes sir, I can do that too. I can go into the Kremlin to the President's office, I can pound his desk and say, Comrade President, I don't like the way President Biden's running hi…

#Mr President#President#America#Russia+4 more
0
WhatsApp

Infamous Dave Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!" Although impressed, Dave's boss is stil…

#Tom Cruise#Daves#President#Peters+4 more
0
WhatsApp

There are four people in an airplane. They are as follows: \- The pilot (Obviously) \- The president of the USA \- The world's smartest man \- A student from a local school. ​ Suddenly, an alarm sounds. The pilot runs into the passenger cabin and says: "I don't want to alarm you, but there seems to be a problem with the engine. We're all going down!" The passengers and the pilot need to evacuate, but there's a problem: There are only three parachutes in the plane. One person has …

#President#USA#School#Politics+1 more
0
WhatsApp

A secretary at the Kremlin is having a cigarette break besides the main entrance. All of a sudden, the doors fly open and bursting out of the building comes a Russian Army general, muttering to himself: "That idiotic, delusional, ridiculous old clown of a president! Why doesn't he just do us all a favour and throw himself out of a window?!" The secretary thought to herself that she had better report to Putin right away what she had just heard. Upon hearing out what the secretary had to say, P…

#President#Putin#Joe Biden#Sir That+4 more
0
WhatsApp

An American and a Russian were arguing about the differences in their countries. The American says: Listen in my country i can walk into the oval office and i can hit the desk with my fist and say “ President Biden I do not like the way you’re governing our country” The Russian says: i can do that. The American says: what how? The Russian says: i can go straight into the kremlin go to the president’s office and i can pound my fist on Putin’s desk and say “ Mr. president i do not like the w…

#President#Putins#Mr President#Joe Biden+3 more
0
WhatsApp

Four doctors are talking. "The British doctor says, medicine is so advanced in Britain that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he was looking for a job." The German doctor replies: "That's nothing. In Germany, we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he was looking for a job." The Russian doctor replies: "Well, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he was looking for a job." The American doctor laughs: "Y…

#President#Germany#Politics#Doctor
0
WhatsApp