Pirate Jokes

What's a pirate's favorite subreddit? /r/matey

So a pirate walks into a bar... So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants..

Did you hear about the pirate who used to walk the plank every night? Well

A pirate goes to the doctor A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them. "It's ok," he says. "They're benign." The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"

What's a pirate's greatest fear on the first date? A sunken chest with no booty.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure".. ..is a shitty way to tell a kid they're adopted

What's a pirate's least favorite letter? U. Because U keep reposting this joke.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.

What is a pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest and no booty.

Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally.... So I was like na, more like pirate and booty.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir, Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage. Sincerely, your service provider.

What is a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons: 1. Illegal Downloading

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?,"It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

In honor of September 19th, what are your best pirate jokes?","September 19th is international talk like a pirate day and I would love to hear all of your guys best pirate jokes. Here is mine: Why do pirates have trouble learning the alphabet? Because they spend years at Sea!

What's the difference between a thug and a pirate's dad?,"One's poppin' caps and the other's cap'n pops!

Why did the pirate's rap song become such a hit?,"The bass was pegged, his hook was just right and it made all the girls shake they booty.

What do you call a Pirate who lost his anchor?,"""can't anchor us"" /bow.. this is as clever as i get people.. so sorry.

What's your favorite pirate joke? Friend has an eyepatch on for some reason or another and I'm running out of decent jokes.

Why should you never shout at a pirate?,"Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame I just made it up)

Another Pirate joke?,"Ok, so this three part one which requires a little build up: Ask, ""what a pirate's favorite letter?"" Usually people get the ""Rrrr"" Ask, ""What's a pirates favorite restaurant?"" Wait for a response: ""Harrrdees"" or ""Arrrbys"" and lastly ask ""What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?"" At this point you should get ""the ARrrrrmy"" and you reply ""No it's the Navy stupid!""

Another pirate joke. What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet...?,"""Arrrrr?"" Nope... you'd think so but it'd be the ""C.""

What's a redditor who makes pirate jokes' favorite letters?,"It could be R and the C but they definitely aren't OC.

What's a pirate's favourite letter?,"A P. Because it's like an ARR but it's missing a leg.

Is anyone else having problems with their spellchecker?,"Mine keeps correcting into weird things. Like changing ""my"" into ""me" ""money"" into ""gold pieces"" and the letter x into ""here be treasure"". It's a pirate copy.

What's a pirate's favorite firework? M80