New Jersey Jokes

There's a woman in New Jersey that has a rare medical condition that makes her have 100's of unwanted orgasims. She has 100's of orgasims a day and is still complaining. That just proves women are never happy.

Where did the team get there uniforms? New Jersey

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.. One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some Measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. ""Well,"" he says, ""I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."" The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuri…

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. ""Not very long"" answered the Mexican. ""But then why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"" asked the tourist. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The tourist asked ""So what do you do with the rest of your time?"" ""I sleep late fish a little play with my …

Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers? New Jersey had first choice.

Q. What did dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New Jersey

Two Fleas on Vacation (nsfw) Two fleas had an arrangement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation. Last year, when one flea gets to Miami he is shivering and shaking. The other flea asked him, "Why are shaking so badly?" The first flea says, "I rode down here from New Jersey in the moustache of a guy on a Harley." The other flea says, "That's the worst way to travel. Do what I do. Go to the New Jersey airport bar. Have a few drinks. While there, look for a nice stewardess, crawl up her …

Italian father with son in prison An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. "Dear Vincent, I am pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if yo…

A elderly Italian man wanted to plant tomatoes in his backyard but he was too weak... An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getti…

Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites? New Jersey picked first.

An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: "Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles woul…

Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California get all the lawyers? New Jersey got the first pick.

I was making out with a girl in the car and she told me to kiss her where it smells... So I took her to New Jersey

What do you call a homeless male Barbie from New Jersey? Hoboken

Why are so many New Yorkers suffering from depression? Because for them, the "light at the end of the tunnel" is New Jersey.

I once had 4 blowouts at once, but managed to drive on the metal of my rims from New York to New Jersey. I did pretty good, but the hero of the moment was my car. It worked tirelessly.

If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware ? I dunno, Alaska.

Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California get all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.

A man with a dog walks into a bar in New Jersey. He says to the barman

As a new yorker i was excited about a wall that keeps foreigners from taking our jobs Then I learned the wall wasn't being built around New Jersey.

An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden

If Mississippi wears her New Jersey what does Delaware?

Why did New York get all the lawyers and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites?

A elderly Italian man wanted to plant tomatoes in his backyard but he was too weak... An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden

Italian father with son in prison An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden