Just yelled "I will strangle you in front of your pets" out of my window to a car that cut me off in traffic on a highway in New Jersey.

I was making out with my girlfriend in my car when she said ""OOH DARMOK!! KISS ME DOWN WHERE IT SMELLS!"" ...so I drove her to New Jersey.

My dad's day at work... My dad is a police officer out here in New Jersey (US), and the irony is perfect. My dad drives up to a nearby school and spots three teenagers smoking cigarettes out back. Somebody recently called from the area about a kid who was stealing outside equipment from the neighborhood and one of the teenagers matched the description. My dad drives up to them and calls the one matched over to his car. He asks him what they've been doing and the normal of an officer. My dad then…

A priest dies... And goes to heaven. There's a small queue to get in, and when he gets to be second in line, he overhears St. Peter asking some basic questions to the man in front of him, like what's your name/ occupation, and where are you from? They guy in front of the priest is wearing tight fitting, torn black clothing, has greasy slicked back hair and a overall punky attitude. He responds is a thick, NY accent, "" Yo yo my name is Joe. I'm a taxi cab driver from New York."" St. Peter finds …