Netflix Jokes

Hear about psych on netflix? Thats messed up

The best part about Netflix is there are no commercials. On an unrelated note, does anyone know how to get urine stains out of a couch?

I've been watching the Netflix series about Escobar, but I keep falling asleep... I think I have Narco-lepsy.

The revolution will not be televised. It will be streaming on netflix this summer

Check it out on Netflix There's this new docu-series about religion in professional sports. The first episode is titled *Bindi Like Beckham*

I saw my sister watching the show ""Dexter"" yesterday.. I thought it was a pretty weird show, but then again, I have seen stranger things on Netflix.

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die... then I got Netflix, so now I have better things to watch.

Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix? He liked chillin.

I had 4 cars been their horns at me this morning... It made it really hard to watch Netflix on my drive to work!

What's a pedophile do on a Saturday night? Netflix and chill-dren.

My psychologist just reddit-punned me We were talking about school, and I mentioned the fact that I rarely pay attention in class and that I instead just surf the web or watch Netflix. Him: ""So, what sites do you surf the most?"" Me: ""Well, there's this site called Reddit.."" Him: ""I see.."" Me: ""Have you heard of it?"" Him: ""I'm not sure I've.. *read it*"" *winks furiously at me*

Netflix the clairvoyant! Donald Trump is raking in the votes and winning primaries like we haven't seen since 2008 when Obama started his sweep of the nation. Which proves that Netflix was right all along... Orange is the new Black.

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? The woman in church has hope in her soul. Heard it on ""The Forbidden Room"" on Netflix

Just saw a friend I haven't seen in 5 years ...he says: ""I still use your Netflix password!""

Use the promo code NETFLIX To get 50% off your next exam!

A black lesbian, an obese white neck-beard, and an Indian comic walk into a bar. What do you get? A Netflix original series!

My ex-girlfriends all did me dirty like the first 25% of a Netflix loading screen. I was repeatedly tricked into thinking there was a connection

Zika Virus and chill. So I invited this cute girl to come over and chill one night. We were just watching Netflix for a while when we started holding hands, which led to making out; things got pretty steamy pretty quick.All of the sudden she stopped and looked at me, and I could see remorse in her eyes. She said ""I just found out the other day that I have the Zika virus."" I said ""That's okay, I just wanted a little head, baby.""

What do Jewish couples do when they hang out netflix and shill

Amazon Prime is seriously way better than Netflix. I love it almost as much as my Zune.

I see there's going to be a new PeeWee Herman movie on Netflix. It's a good thing it won't be in theaters.

Service man! So my stove broke and I ordered a service man to come out and fix it. He turned out to be german. This is how the conversation went. Service man: Hulu, I'm here to fix the stove. Can you Shomi where it is? Me: Great, come in. It's right over there. Service man: Can you help me Sling this stove so we can pull it out? Service man turns it on to see the problem. Service man: Oh I see, it makes a Crackle when I turn it on. So he tries to fix it, but its not working so he calls his boss …

Netflix and chill is cool... But let's be honest guys, we know for most of you it's Netflix and Jill Edit: if you don't know who Jill is, take a look at your hand.

Netflix and Chill or ... Redtube and Lube

When she says she is ""new to NetFlix and Chill"". ~ and her bed has surround sound...