I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die... then I got Netflix, so now I have better things to watch.#Netflix#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Only death will keep me from you. Or cake. Or Netflix. Or kittens....hold on, I have a list.#Netflix#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog#Animals#Kids#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp