Nascar Jokes

I'm surprised more black people don't relate with NASCAR... After all, there are no rights

NASCAR is a visualization of how women argue. They keep going in circles. And I sit through both things with the same hope: If I wait long enough, maybe they will crash and burn.

I'm not a fan of NASCAR but I hear it's popular in some circles.

The Special Olympics is like Nascar. You're not watching it for the race...

Why is NASCAR so popular in the southern states? Because that's where the most racists are.

The acronym NASCAR stands for: Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

Why can't mites race in NASCAR? Because mites make rights, not lefts.

I'm not a fan of Nascar... I believe in equal rights.

I've been working with NASCAR on redesigning the track for more variety, but it's tough I just can't seem to get it right

Why does Beyonce sing ""to the left, to the left?"" She's secretly a NASCAR fan.

I heard NASCAR was a distant cousin of Formula 1. I guess that's what they mean by race relations.

Mexican word of the day: nascar Hey man that's a nascar.. Where'd you get it?

I aint racist! I LOVE NASCAR!

Robot A guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there's a robot bartender . The robot says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says, ""Whiskey."" The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, ""What's your IQ?"" The guy says, ""168."" The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says, ""Whiskey."" Again, the robot bri…

The Robot Bartender A guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says ""Martini."" The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, ""What's your IQ?"" The guy says, ""168."" The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says, ""Martini"". Again, the robot make…

NASCAR Fight after race Any one notice that NASCAR gave out suspensions and 6 figure fines (&no drivers) and then they use it to promote Sundays race in AZ Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Oral B is sponsoring tonight's NASCAR race. That seems like an odd choice for a sponsorship, considering most NASCAR fans don't even have teeth.

Nascar Rain I think if NASCAR would quit being sponsored by the movie Noah we wouldn't have so much rain on race day :)

Discriminating Robot Bartender One upon a time, a guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there's a robot bartender! The robot says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says, ""Whiskey."" The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, ""What's your IQ?"" The guy says, ""168."" The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious. So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says, ""W…

The tale of Hobbin & Noggin One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals. One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. The two horses grew up and loved to race each other. One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, ""Wow! These horses are quick!"" So the next day he entered them into a local derby. As the race was about to start, the horses were rearing and snorting to get let out of the gate. As soon as the gates swung open, both horses immed…

A man shot himself in the head at an NRA sponsored NASCAR event... while the GOP shot themselves in the foot on the NRA sponsored gun bill. (Jokes for the week of 4/13-4/19 @fridayupdate on twitter.)

If you ask me, NASCAR would be much more entertaining if the drivers had had as much to drink as the fans.

What starts with "N" and ends with "R" that describes an entire race? NASCAR

I was denied access to a store because of racism, I'm a NASCAR fan instead of F1.

Robot Bartender makes a great Martini A guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, climate change, and AI machine language. The guy leaves, but he is curious. So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." Again, the robot …