Mary Mary Jokes

The Guinness Brewery Mary O'Malley was waiting at home for her husband to come home from work at the Guinness brewery. While she was putting the finishing touches on dinner, she hears a knock on the door. Mary goes to the door to find her husband's friend/coworker, Seamus, on the other side. ""Oh, Seamus! Come in, come in! Please, make yourself at home, I'm just waiting for my husband to come back from work. Can I offer you some tea?"" Mary asked. ""No, thank you,"" replied Seamus. ""Mary, unfor…

Little Mary never did very well in church. She would always fall asleep when the priest was speaking. One day, while Mary was happily sleeping, the Priest said ""Mary, who created the Earth as we know it""? The little boy behind Mary got bored, took out a pin, and poked Mary with it in the back. Mary jolted awake and screamed ""Oh good Lord""! ""Good job""! said the priest. A little later, the Priest asked sleeping Mary ""Mary, who was born on December 25th and is celebrated for Christmas?"". Th…

Drawing game Mrs. Smith, a third grade teacher wanted the class to play a game where one student starts drawing on the board, then one by one others add to it. She thinks and decides not to start with Johnny, because he is so naughty and always has some ""unusual"" pictures in mind. So she starts with Anne. Anne: ""This is our house"". /\ / \ / \ / \ | | | | | | Teacher: ""Good Anne!"" and asks Peter to draw next: Peter: ""This is our house's door"". /\ / \ / \ / \ | | |…

A new priest is about to give his first sermon... and he's really nervous about it, so he goes and asks the older priest if he can help. ""Well I'll tell you what,"" says the older priest, ""I'll switch out the wine for a martini so you can calm your nerves before you start talking."" ""Thanks Father!"" says the new priest. After the mass is over, the new priest walks over to the older priest and asks how he did. ""Well... you did a good job for the most part, except for a few things... -Don't r…