Henry Jokes

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the…

The Late Osama After dying a grisly death in a fire fight, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he was greeted by George Washington. ""How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!"" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry came up from behind, ""You wanted to end the American's liberty, so they gave you death!"" Henry punched Osama in the nose. James Madison came next and said, ""This is why I allowed the government to provide for the common defense!"" He took …

Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you're so smart what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!

Cheating for "Good" Reasons An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason. Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's…

Funny Jewish Joke - Clean! The four Katz brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented the first automobile air-conditioner. On August 15, 1951, the temperature in Detroit was 92 degrees.The four brothers walked into Henry Ford’s office and convinced him to come out to the parking lot to their car. They got him to get into the car, which was about 120 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off within a few minutes. Henry got very excited and invited them back to the off…

The Horniest Rooster A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster"one that would service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!" So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house, though, he gave Henry a little pep talk: "Henry," he said, "I…

A Golfer's Love Story An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason. Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's …

A man brought his son to a grocery store... A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance. Despite the scene his son was causing, the father was cool and collected, slowly and calmly saying, "Don't worry, Donald. It'll be alright, Donald, we'll be home soon." A nearby mother was very im…

The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them int…

A man brought his son to a grocery store... A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance. Despite the scene his son was causing, the father was cool and collected, slowly and calmly saying, "Don't worry, Donald. It'll be alright, Donald, we'll be home soon." A nearby mother was very impres…

I can't get the names of Henry VIII's six wives straight I need a Tudor-ial.

Joke from 1908 (reposted from really really old reddit) A wealthy man was ordered by his physician to go away to the mountains for a rest. He went home, told the members of his family what the doctor had said. He said, "While I'm away, I don't wish to be annoyed by letters or telegrams; in fact, I don't want to receive any news of any kind." So he went away and was gone about six weeks. He returned to the city very much improved in health and very anxious for some news from home. He got off o…

True story: when short story writer O. Henry lay dying in a hospital, The people gathered around his bed didn't know if he was asleep or dead. Someone said, "Feel his feet. No one ever died with warm feet." O. Henry opened his eyes and said, "Joan of Arc did." Then closed his eyes and died that moment.

A cheapskate dies and his will asks he be buried at sea Per his wishes his wife has him cremated and goes to the waterfront with an urn full of his ashes to release them into the Atlantic. "Henry," she says, "you know that fancy leather purse I wanted all my life and you said it was too much? Well I sold your company for a fortune and I bought the nicest purse they had at Gucci." And Henry," she says, "you know that trip to the Caribbean I always wanted to take but you said a trip to the mal…

There's a depressed king back in the 14th century And nothing could cheer him up. Eventually the royal advisor hired a new fool to entertain the king. The clown was very funny, and most of the court laughed, but the king merely sighed, and then turned towards his advisor. "I don't think this worked Henry, but I appreciate the jester."

It was July 17, 1946 The temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, had invented the first automobile air-conditioner. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come ou…

Henry Winkler was flying from New York to LA Henry Winkler was flying from New York to LA when an airplane stewardess approached him. She asked "Would you like some headphones? "Henry smiled and replied, "Of course My Dear, by the way, it's pronounced Fonz."

The best blow job ever! Henry and his drinking buddy are sitting at the bar one day

Vicky gets her helicopter ride Henry and his wife Vicky went to the state fair every year

Why do people think Henry the Sixth was a Norseman? Because he was a VI KING.

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common? Same middle name.

Why was Henry the Eighth so fat? Because he Tudor house.

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital? An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room? Amble in (Anne Boyeyn) I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)

Henry and Ethel attended the same small-town church, where every week Ethel taught Sunday school. After admiring her from afar for years, Henry finally plucked up the courage to ask Ethel out to dinner. To his delight, she accepted and he booked them a table at his favourite restaurant. At the restaurant he asked her: "Would you like some wine with dinner?" "Oh no, Henry," said Ethel. "What would I tell my Sunday school class?" Henry was taken aback and didn't say much more until the end of the …