Sir Everything Jokes

Two men are hiking... Two men are hiking in a forest when suddenly, the other man falls down. ""Oh my God!"", his friend exclaims. He quickly dials 911. He gets connected to an operater. ""This is 911, what is your emergency?"" ""Me and my buddy were hiking and he suddenly fell down! His eyes are glazed and he isn't moving!"" ""Calm down, sir. Everything will be okay. Now, can you make sure he is dead?"" There is a brief silence on the line, then a gunshot is heard in the background. ""Okay, now…

Joke from 1908 (reposted from really really old reddit) A wealthy man was ordered by his physician to go away to the mountains for a rest. He went home, told the members of his family what the doctor had said. He said, "While I'm away, I don't wish to be annoyed by letters or telegrams; in fact, I don't want to receive any news of any kind." So he went away and was gone about six weeks. He returned to the city very much improved in health and very anxious for some news from home. He got off o…