Ebay Jokes

I saw a French rifle on eBay today It's never been fired but I heard it was dropped once.

Got my boss yesterday A guy at work was asking what to do with old clothes, he didn't want to just throw them out, Suggestions were given such as: car boot sale, charity shops even eBay, the boss walks past at this moment and says "" I use old clothes as cleaning rags in my house "" so I say "" what.... and then you wear them to work "" the look on his face, if it wasn't for the guys laughing he would've gone apeshit, it's funnier cos he dresses like a tramp.

I was gonna post a joke about me being a shitty seller on eBay But my delivery has horrible timing.

I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket .... Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments

Where do esport players go if they get arrested? Guantanamo ebay

A pirate decided he wanted to retire He sold all his gold on eBay.

What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay? One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.

I've finally taken the time to list my collection of John Lennon memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the PayPal.

Selling a python Paddy was selling his pet python on eBay. Some bloke rang him up and asked, ""Is it big?"" Paddy said, ""Massive."" The bloke said, ""how many feet?"" Paddy says, ""None, it's a snake ya fecking idiot!""

Dad, i am going to marry Daughter: ""Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia and he lives in the UK . We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of relationship through Viber. Dad, I need your blessings and good wishes."" Father: ""Wow! Really!! Then get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon and pay through Paypal. And if you are fed up with you…

so I saw an ad on ebay about a book on how to scam on ebay so i bought it.. It still hasn't arrived.

I sold my vacuum cleaner on ebay........ It was just sat in the corner collecting dust.....

Just ordered a chicken and and an egg off ebay... Will let you know the results soon.

My Stephen Hawking book finally arrived from eBay. It's about time.

We cleared out my grandma's house this morning We sorted out the good stuff and put it on eBay, and then went to the estate agents to put her house on the market. She's gonna be pretty pissed off when she gets back from bingo.

A friend walks into old Jacks house.. Jacks wife is throwing the plates, wrecking the house and yelling for divorce. ""What Happened?"" asks his friend. ""Nothing much"" says old Jack. ""She got all dressed up today and asked me to click her picture and post it on Facebook, I couldn't find my glasses, she couldn't wait for the likes and It went up ebay instead!""

PayPal is spinning eBay off into its own company. After several years, PayPal finally got tired of living with a hoarder.

My wife was on eBay this afternoon... No bids yet

I let my son go on ebay earlier today When I told my wife she slapped me and called the police.

Girl confesses she met a guy online and asks for her dads blessings. Girl: Dad! I am in love with a boy who lives far away from me. I am in the United States and he lives in the United Kingdom. We met on a dating website, became good friends on FaceBook, had long chats on WhatsApp, he proposed to me on Skype, and now two months of relationship through Viber, I need your blessings and good wishes. Dad: You know we are in the days of technology, where things are now done electronically so I think …

I caught my twelve-year-old son....... looking up women's skirts today,"" I told the barman after my second whiskey. ""That's pretty normal for a twelve-year-old, isn't it?"" he asked. ""Not on eBay it isn't!"" I said.

French Joke Anyone see the French Military Rifle on eBay? It's never been shot and only dropped once!

I've just left feedback for my second hand telescope I bought from eBay. Rubbish; 2 Stars.

If someone is bothering you with unnecessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad ""iPhone 5S for $1 only""

I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month..