California Jokes

Do they have 4Rivers in California? They used to, but they all dried up.

Why is the California golden gate bridge a great compass? It is collapsible

A California family bought a ranch in Wyoming, where they planned to raise cattle. A friend came to visit one weekend and asked if the ranch had a name. "Well," said the would-be cattleman, "to be honest we've had a few arguments over names. I wanted to call the ranch Bar-J; my wife favoured the Suzy-Q; one son liked the Flying-L; and my other son wanted the Happy-T. So as a compromise we've called it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-L-Happy-T Ranch." "Right," said the friend. "But tell me, where are all…

Why don't they make mutes for clarinets? It would be a waste of time--it would take a lot more than a mute to make a clarinet sound good! California Trumpet, clarinet, piano, sax, and flute!

How to Know where a Driver is from: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone,brick on accelerator: California With gun in lap: L.A.

Did you hear about the blonde that... Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years" Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C". Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the oth…