Bruce Willis Jokes

Challenge: Change one letter in a move title to create a whole new blockbuster Examples: Pooper: BRUCE WILLIS finds out the hard way just how dangerous time travel can be. Tar Trek: WILLIAM SHATNER's quest to go where no man has gone before to make Canada a major oil producer. Gone with the Wine: Nicholas Cage drinks himself to death in the old south. 301: Dalmatians rescue ancient Sparta from cruel cats. Zardog: Sean Connery's dog wins Best of Show. Sin Citi: Kiki's bond ratings may have fallen…

Did you hear Bruce Willis tried to overdose on viagra? He wanted to Die Hard.

Some Arnie jokes My wife has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger. She'll be back. __ Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7. He replied, ""I still love Vista, baby"". __ A movie production company desperately needs a new idea. They decide to make an Action Film featuring Classical Musicians. They begin to enlist famous Action Heroes. The actors that are chosen; Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Director says, ""Sylvester, you be Beethov…

I really love Bruce Willis. I have all of his movies, hundreds of posters, and multiple autographs You might say that I'm a die-hard fan

I got a new spoiler on my car. Just a long sticker that says ""Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time!""

how much wood would a wood chuck if Bruce Willis is the Ghost

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ... Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius' Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque' Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue? [OC] Icy dead people!

Did you hear that Bruce Willis is going to star in a movie where he goes undercover as an elderly nun? It's called Old Habits Die Hard

Bruce Willis overdosed on Viagra before comitting suicide He died hard

A new remake of Titanic features Bruce Willis. Bruce saves everyone.

Bruce Willis is working on the 5th Die Hard movie! They should call this one ""Just kill me already!!!""

They found Bruce Willis dead next to a bottle of Viagra... ...I guess he *Died Hard*

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

I've watched Bruce Willis movies every day for years. I want to stop, but you know the saying: 'old habits The Fifth Element'

BREAKING NEWS: Bruce Willis found dead surrounded by 70 empty Viagra bottles. Looks like he...died hard.

""So did you hear Bruce Willis passed away?"" ""Really? How?"

Bruce Willis went shopping... ...and he overheard a fellow customer say

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?,"""Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard.""

Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row? He was a Die Hard fan.

Why didn't Bruce Willis star in the movie "Titanic"? Because he would've saved everybody.

Have you heard about Bruce Willis' new movie in which he has to infiltrate a Nunnery? "Bad Habits Die Hard."

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son? "Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard."

Who should have played Bilbo? Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.