Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row? He was a Die Hard fan.

Have you heard about Bruce Willis' new movie in which he has to infiltrate a Nunnery? "Bad Habits Die Hard."

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son? "Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard."

Who should have played Bilbo? Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.