Bono Jokes

One of my fantasies is meeting Bono from U2 and saying "I'm a huge fan, Bobo."

I have friends who do charity work for U2. They're pro Bono.

I don't know what Do-It-Yourself project Bono has been working on for the past 7 yrs but he must be tired of wearing those safety goggles.

[bono dressed as magician] "think of a song any song" purple haze "right n- no, a U2 song" oh ok um.. elevation? "ok now.. check your phone"

Bono is gonna be really pissed off when he finds out he's not Jesus.

After all these years, Bono 'still hasn't found what he's looking for'. Perhaps he might have more luck if he took those stupid sunglasses off...

Bono and a Lightbulb How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world.

This guy Bob says to his friend at dinner, I know more people than you would believe... Bono happened to be in the bar so Bob excuses himself and meets Bono in the restroom and asks a favor of him to come by the table and pretend he knows him because it would mean alot to his son. Sure enough Bono comes over and says ""hi Bob"" to the astonishment of his friend. Next week they're eating at the same joint and Tony Bennett is singing, and once again he corners Tony in the restroom. Sure enough lat…

When a roofer works pro bono... It's on the house

U2 members were playing hide and seek. It was Bono's turn. As the others hid, Bono turned around and counted, ""One... Two... Three... Fourteen..."" (Sorry, a bit dad-jokey. I made this up one day after finding the lack of U2 jokes online.)

Concert Problems... Kroeger: They tell me, no one knows you guys. Bono: U2.

One thing is for sure about people who want to do Bono. They want to screw U2. I'll show myself out...

I don't get how Bono is such a great philanthropist... I mean, isn't it a little selfish of him to do everything ""pro bono""?

Why does Bono always wear those glasses? Because he still hasn't found what he's looking for.

Did you hear about the U2 benefit concert? It was pro bono.

I figured out why Bono got in all that tax trouble. He got double U2s.

What's my favourite kind of trans-fat? Chaz Bono

Scott Stapp thinks he's Bono. Six Feet From The Edge.

U2's Ireland shows have sold out. Expect a ticket through your letterbox any day now courtesy of Bono.

Bono and the Edge walk into a bar... The bartender looks up at them and says ""Oh, not you two again."".

Bono heated and cooled his vodka over and over, filtering it to try and get the perfect taste... But distill hasn't found what he's looking for.

Bono played a prank on me yesterday and I wasn't happy. He really pushed me over The Edge.

Saw Bono kissing himself in the mirror. I looked at him in disgust and said.... ""Get a room U2!""

Bono and the Edge walk into a bar Barman says ""not you two again""

Bono and The Edge walks into a bar. The barman says ""Oh God, not U2 again.""