Bill Gates Jokes

Why did Bill Gates get sick? Because he left the Windows open.

Why is Bill Gates scared of the number 7? Because 7 8 10.

Bill Gates bumped into Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party. Gates said: "I've seen some fabulous pictures of Divine Brown lately, I'd really like to get together with her some time. Any chance you could fix me up?" Grant said: "You have to remember that ever since that unfortunate incident with me, her prices have rocketed." "Money's no object," said Gates. "Now, what's her number?" So Gates phoned Divine Brown and set up a date. Afterwards, as they lay on the bed together, he turned to her and mumb…

Q: How many Bill Gates does it take to change the light bulb?? A: None. He just calls a meeting & makes darkness the standard.

One day Bill Gates died and went to heaven. When he got there he met God. God said "Where do you want to go Heaven or Hell?" Bill Gates said, "Can I have a look at them first?" So God showed him Heaven and there were all people in white drinking wine a playing harps and all the walls were white. Next God took him to Hell. Bill Gates saw a beautiful beach with gorgeous women in colorful bikinis, all the iced beer a person could drink and everyone was splashing in the water and having fun. Bill Ga…

When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house, a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven. One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit. "That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?" "Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been t…

Top Ten Reasons Why The Computer Industry Is Finally Opening Up To Women: 1. It's easier for a woman to "turn on" a computer 2. Women don't have motherboard fixations. 3. Women are much better at FDISK-ing a hard drive 4. When lost on the Internet, women are willing to ask for directions. 5. Women can communicate gossip and rumors quicker than the fastest modem. 6. Only women (I think) can marry Bill Gates. 7. Women see a 14 inch monitor they think it's a 14 incher and not a 20. 8. Women have bi…

Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle in the surf. He pulls out the cork and a Genie appears. The Genie says, “I have been trapped for 100 years. As a reward you can make a wish.” Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage. Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of theMiddle East. This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years. What I wish for is peace in the Middle East. The Genie replies, “I don’t…

Microsoft today announced that it will be changing its name to "Moft" -- which will clear up space on user's hard disks. It is estimated that a typical Windows 95 installation contains about 2,800,000 copies of the word "Microsoft", in copyright notices, end-user license agreements, 'About' screens, etc. So, after the change, a user will have about 14 MB more disk space. Stock prices of hard-disk manufacturers dipped slightly after the announcement. "Well, the programs will take up less space on…