Angela Merkel Jokes

Seduce Angela Merkel by fondling the hem of her cardigan while whispering "Aren't you too pretty to be a Chancellor?"

Angela Merkel visits Greece Angela Merkel goes on holiday to Greece. She reaches customs. Officer: Name? Merkel: Angela Merkel Officer: Nationality? Merkel: Deutsche Officer: Occupation? Merkel: Nein, not zis time, just for ze holidays

Why did Angela Merkel ban use of crabgrass lawn treatments? She was told they would stop the ""German nation""

Some racist jokes What is the difference between viruses and Arabs? Viruses can be cultured. What is the difference between viral infection and Arab immigration? Host doesn't always die from viral infection. What is the difference between Angela Merkel and Immune system of Aids patients? No difference. Both are incompetent at stopping nasty infestations.

Putin, Angela Merkel and Obama stand ona a dock... Obama says ""The USA built a submarine that can dive for 1 week without needing to refuel."" Putin responds ""Our nuclear submarines can dive for a whole month!"" Suddenly a old submarine comes out of the water. The hatch opens, a Wehrmacht -soldier comes out and says ""Heil Hitler we need fuel""

Angela Merkel got sad when she heard that she didn't win the Nobel Peace Prize after taking in so many Syrian refugees So I offered her a tissue

Bill O'Reilly calls President Obama and asks him what he'd like most for the holidays. ""I couldn't possibly accept gifts in my position,"" said Obama. The TV host insists and said he could ask for anything, no matter how big or small. ""Well,"" said Obama, ""If you insist I suppose I could accept a dozen Titleist Pro V1's (golf balls). My game is off and lately I seem to be loosing my balls."" A month later the President is watching TV when the O'Reilly says, ""A while back we asked a number of…

Chancellor Angela Merkel visits Athens. Angela Merkel arrives at the Athens airport & stops by the immigration check. ""Nationality?"" asks the Immigration officer. ""German,"" she replies. ""Occupation?"" he asks. ""No, just visiting for a few days.""

Dear President Obama, I've got a joke for you... I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did you... *get it*?

Angela Merkel arrives in Athens airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. "Occupation?" "No, just here for a few days

Medvedev calls Putin, nervously telling him that it would be a good idea to get rid of time zones altogether. "Why"? Putin asks ​ "I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she has it tomorrow. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it's not today." "Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff, remember when tha…

Russian prime minister Medvedev comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones. " I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow." "Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff. Remember when that Polish plane crashed with their pres…

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones. " I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow." "Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff, remember when that Polish plane crashed with …

Donald Trump is on his first state visit to Angela Merkel in Berlin... After a bit of small talk

Angela Merkel visits Donald Trump in Washington During her stay Trump asks her: ""Tell me Chancellor Merkel

Donald Trump goes to Germany Donald Trump is on his first state visit to Angela Merkel in Berlin.

Angela Merkel arrives in Athens airport. ""Nationality?"" asks the immigration officer. ""German

classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. "Occupation?" "No, just here for a few days."

Who Wears The Old Clothes Of Angela Merkel? Angela Merkel.