Oreilly Jokes

My sister told me she's dating an Irish guy I said, ""Oh really?"" She replied, ""No, O'Reilly.""

Two drunk Irishmen are in a bar talking to each other One says to the other, ""So, what's your birthday."" The other replies with, ""August 9th 1972, yours?"" The man replies with, ""The same day! Where were you born?"" ""St Molly's hospital, you?"" ""The same hospital! What's your moms name?"" ""Debra"" ""mine too!"" They keep on talking, meanwhile, the bartender says to a himself in the bar, ""Oh, the O'reilly twins are drunk again.""

""Oh, really?"" one man to another: A: ""You know, my daughter has married an Irishman"" B: ""Oh, really?"" A: ""No, O'Reilly""

Bill O'Reilly calls President Obama and asks him what he'd like most for the holidays. ""I couldn't possibly accept gifts in my position,"" said Obama. The TV host insists and said he could ask for anything, no matter how big or small. ""Well,"" said Obama, ""If you insist I suppose I could accept a dozen Titleist Pro V1's (golf balls). My game is off and lately I seem to be loosing my balls."" A month later the President is watching TV when the O'Reilly says, ""A while back we asked a number of…

Irish I could say I came up with these St. Patty's Day jokes What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? -A rash of good luck. Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? - He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? -Regular rocks are too heavy. How did the Irish Jig get started? -Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife? - A bachelor. ""I married an Irishman on St. Pat…

A Republican meets St. Peter at the heaven's entrance. A Republican senator, having just died, appears in Heaven, where he runs into St. Peter at the entrance. The Republican is opening the gates, when Peter declares, "Not so fast..." "I take it," Peter continues, "that nobody has explained the procedure to you yet..." "What's the procedure?" asks the Republican. "Everyone who has just made it to the afterlife," Peter continues, "has to spend one day in Heaven and one day in Hell, so that t…

If Bill O'Reilly and Barbara Walters got married what would they name the baby? Baba O'Reilly

Paddy went onto the TV programme The Antiques Roadshow, where experts value items brought in by members of the public, and placed a large metal box on the table. "Where did you find this?" asked the antiques expert. "Oh, it's been in the attic for years," said Paddy. "Have you got insurance?" "Why do you ask?" "Because you're going to need it – that's your cold water tank." O'Reilly said to Murphy: "Set the alarm for five in the morning." "Why?" said Murphy. "There's only two of us."