Obama, Putin and Merkel discuss their submarines. All three are sitting at a resort by the seaside, and are arguing. Obama begins by saying ""American submarines are the best in the world, they can go for weeks without needing supplies!"" Putin laughs and tell them ""Stupid globalists. Russian submarines are best in world, they go MONTHS without refueling."" Merkel opens her mouth to speak, when a submarine rises out of the water. A man opens the hatch and shouts ""Heil Hitler! We need fuel!""

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin make phone calls George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check. Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished th…

You think das ist a long time? Obama, Putin and Merkel meet in Hamburg for a private summit, and Merkel decides to break the ice with a nice walk around the lake (Alster). Obama, admiring the foliage, says ""you know, in the States, we have forests so vast, that some military training exercises last as long as 2 years."" Putin replies, ""Ah yes, but Comrade, the vastness and beauty of the Siberian wilderness is such that our soldiers don't leave for 4 years!"" Merkel, being the peace-keeper betw…

Obama, Putin and Merkel are walking along the beach... ...when Putin starts bragging ""My submarines are better than yours, and my men are better trained. They can stay under water for months!"" Obama doesn't seem impressed. ""Even if that were true, US Naval Intelligence knows where every ship in the world is at every moment. You are no threat to us."" Suddenly, a submarine emerges from the water, a hatch opens, a man gets out and shouts over: ""Heil Hitler! Can anybody tell me where to get mor…