Roy Rogers and the mountain lion Back in the 1950s, cowboy star Roy Rogers bought a brand new pair of expensive cowboy boots. Cowboy boots are notoriously stiff when they're new so Roy spent all morning oiling and working the leather to try to soften them up a bit. He then took them out onto the back porch to dry in the sunlight while he commenced with the rest of his chores around the ranch. Later that afternoon when Roy returned home he found that a mountain lion had snuck down out of the hill…

I just took enough Vicodin to kill a medium-sized Chipmunk. RIP Roy. Roy's the hypothetical Chipmunk. I named him. Has anyone seen my legs??

The most contrived joke that I know A bloke called Roy was walking through the jungle when a tiger pounced on him and stole his brand new shoes. Distraught, Roy contacts the only person he can think of that can sort out this issue - famous big band conductor Glen Miller. Glen is hot on the case and finally bags a tiger that fits the description, but he's still unsure. So he approaches Roy, who is busy talking to a bunch of people. He tries to get Roy's attention but he can't so he is forced to p…

Trigger warning! What's the difference between Roy Rogers and Phil Hartman? Trigger had nothing to do with Roy Rogers' death. Why didnt Roy bother giving trigger his last meal? Because he knew he would be stuffed.