The most contrived joke that I know A bloke called Roy was walking through the jungle when a tiger pounced on him and stole his brand new shoes. Distraught, Roy contacts the only person he can think of that can sort out this issue - famous big band conductor Glen Miller. Glen is hot on the case and finally bags a tiger that fits the description, but he's still unsure. So he approaches Roy, who is busy talking to a bunch of people. He tries to get Roy's attention but he can't so he is forced to politely interrupt the conversation: ""Pardon me Roy, is this the cat who took your new shoes?""