Caught by a local tribe. A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, ""The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."" The Frenchman says, ""I take ze sword."" The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, ""Vive la France!"" and runs himself through. The Engl…

Top Ten Benefits of a Trump Presidency 10. Instagram photos of fancy food replaced by photos of comfort food. 9. Household net worth rises if women are considered property. 8. SNL and the Daily Show get a little better. 7. Americans get to experience four year educational historical reenactment of Nazi Germany. 6. Pared down Facebook friends list keeps snooping relatives from seeing your EDM concert photos. 5. College protests exercise the legs of students who did not leave their dorms to vote. …

Two Hungry Soldiers (Disgusting) After a long, big battle , there are two enemy soldiers left on the battlefield. They decide to make peace and look for food because they are very, VERY hungry. They look food for 2 hours but cannot find something. Soldier 1 says "" I can't take this anymore!"" and walks to a nearby dead soldier. Other one follows, curious. Soldier 1 takes his knife and cuts the dead soldiers belly. Behold, half digested pasta. Both soldiers very hungry and disgusted, Soldier 1 a…

Puns I have constructed in the past few days. I'm gonna go to the dentist again. I just couldn't get my filling! I told a cube to start rolling. Basically, I told it to die. A chemist joined a bike race. I think the race was called, ""Torr de France"" Our ships had to be downgraded, so the General Quarters became the General Nickels. I've never met a serious game designer, they're all too busy making fun of things. A mathematician ties a hemp rope and throws it up a tree. He called it a hypotenu…