My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, ""Did you ever kill anyone?"" Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, ""Probably. I was the cook.""

THE best Bavarian cream pie My grandpa was stationed in Germany after the war. And when I was very small he told me about this little restaurant that served THE best Bavarian cream pie. Apparently he went there every opportunity he had. He couldn't get enough of that Bavarian cream pie - it was absolutely unreal. Well, a few years ago, my grandpa found out that he had a terminal illness, and only had a few months left to live. So, he booked a deluxe vacation cruise to Europe that would eventuall…

Earthquake Nigeria suffered from a severe earthquake last week, resulting in the dead of 12000 inhabitants. The EU is sending first aid and some countries add their own contributions. France is sending military troops to rebuild the country, Germany is sending food packets and Holland is sending 12000 niggers.

Calculus joke... Two college professors are having lunch at a local diner. John (a math professor) says "you know, it really is sad how very little the general population understands higher math." Bill (a physics professor) responds "There you go again with your holier-than-thou attitude, I'm sure more people know higher math than you think." John: "Yeah? Prove it then, if one other person in this restaurant can correctly answer 'what's the integral of x-squared', I'll buy your lunch." Bil…