Walter Jokes

He's Fat! He's Skinny! Two Brothers, TOO FUNNY! Adam Sandler AND Adam Sandler in "Bud is Thicker than Walter!"

Oh your baby's name is Walter? Is he close to retirement?

Hello, I'm waiter, I'll be your Walter tonight. Wait, the other way around. Sorry, first day. Care for a glass of Walter? Ooh boy ok

What if Jesus actually walked on Walter and that whole water thing was a typo that no one corrected coz there was no Twitter?

At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" ""No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?""

""Walter"" - the jokes nobody seems to get. There once was a man named Walter who was terribly depressed. His job of 20 years had just laid him off, his wife was leaving him, his eldest son had just been sent to prison, and he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Walter dealt with it for as long as he could, but as his problems got worse and worse, he decided he couldn't take it anymore, and jumped off a bridge to his death. Walter's body was found due to it getting caught between some rocks…

One man is helping another man move to a new house... Joe is moving to a new house, and he gets his friend Walter to help load some heavy furniture on and off the truck. While Joe is driving the truck, Walter reads a magazine. Walter sees an interesting factoid, and decides to share it with Joe. ""Hey Joe, did you know that 90% of all auto accidents happen within a mile of your house?"" And Joe says ""huh... Well, guess it's a good thing I'm moving then.""

A man named Walter is running in a race and he's first. He's miles in front, and he's ran 3/4 of the race so he decides that now would be a good time to take a breather. Whilst he's taking his breather, he starts reflecting on all the races he's ran in. ""I love the crowds at the end of races but most of the time, they're awful"" he thought, ""you run these races and the endings are just such a disappointment most of the time, I don't know why I keep entering them, I only leave the race disappoi…

Baseball Joke Funny Q: Who's the most famous Los Angeles Dodger? A: O.J. Simpson. Q: What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and a Fenway Park hotdog? A: You can buy a Yankee Stadium hotdog in October! Q: What is the difference between Barry Zito and Bowling Icon Walter Ray Williams Jr? A: Walter knows how to throw a strike. Q: Yankees slugger Darryl Strawberry fouled a pitch off his foot and now has a crack in his big toe. A: This is the first time that the name Strawberry and th…

Knock knock ""Hey Walter, wanna hear a joke?"" ""Sure"" ""Knock kno- "" ""I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!!""

A film student wants to film a documentary about a local Native American tribe... (long) So Walter the film student drives his car out to the Native American reservation and asks to talk to the Chief. The Chief looks at him, then looks at the student's relatively new Mazda, and sighs. This isn't the first time he has dealt with white men intruding on the tribe. A very nervous Walter walks past the rapidly-increasing queue of tribe members that had gathered to ""welcome"" him. With only 3 cracks …

[Spoilers] Breaking Bad At the end of the series Walter White doesn't die. He fakes his death, pretends to be a nun, and hides out in a convent. The convent regularly gets taken by bus into the city to do good works at a soup kitchen. Walter had ridden across country in the tank of an empty fuel truck and never wanted to be inside of a vehicle again. He decides to walk. The mother superior is concerned and tells Walter that ""she"" must get on the bus because it's too dangerous to walk. Walter r…

What is Walter White's favourite band? Well it's not Saving Jane, that's for sure.

Breaking Bad joke (credit to edrubio6) Skyler: Hey, Walt, wanna hear a joke? Walter: Okay. Skyler: Knock kno- Walter: I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

Two men at the Olympics Two men are at the Olympics. One man walks up to the second man and asks, ""Hey, are you a pole vaulter?"" The second man responds, ""Nope, I'm a German, but how did you know my name was Walter?""

Why men don't write advice columns... Dear Walter, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbours daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbours daughter is 22. We have been marri…

A guy goes to the Olympics and sees a man carrying a long pole. The guy asks - Are you a pole vaulter? The man replies - No I'm German - how did you know my name is Walter?

At the Olympics a man walked up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?"" ""Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name ist Walter?""

A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband Walter Smith. Saint Peter said ""We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a little clue."" The woman said ""My Walter is bald and has blue eyes and he said that if I ever slept with another man he'd turn over in his grave."" Saint Peter motioned an angel forward. ""Take her to Turning Walter!""

Best read out loud I was walking past my local athletics track when I saw a man carrying a very long, thin bag. I asked him "are you a pole vaulter?" He said "Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"

Guy passes a buff guy on the street and asks, "Are you a pole vaulter?" He says, "No, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"

At the Olympics At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. "Are you a pole vaulter?" "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"

Helicopter Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, “Ethel, you know that I’d love to go for a ride in that helicopter.” But Ethel would always reply, “I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.” Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, “Ethel, you know I’m 87 years old now. If I don’t ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance.” Once again Ethel replied, “W…

A guy was walking through the Olympic village when he spots an athlete carrying a very long stick on his shoulder. He goes up to him and asks, "Are you a pole vaulter"? The athlete replies, "No, I'm German and how did you know my name was Walter"?

Walter. I was in the park the other day and saw a guy practising his athletic trials