A guy walked into a bar and saw Van Gogh sitting on a stool. "Hi, Vince," he said. "Can I get you a drink?" "No, you're okay," said Van Gogh. "I've got one 'ere." What I don't get is that women will accept a drink from you in a bar. But when I stand on my front doorstep with a can of Kestrel, see a female and ask, 'D'you want a swig?' they run away. Sean Lock