Usain Bolt Jokes

To Usain Bolt who stole my neon jacket You can run, but you can't hide

Usain Bolt isn't allowed near any elementary schools. The speed limit is only 40 kph!

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt? Bolt can finish a race.

Whats the difference between Usain bolt and Hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race. Edit: Grammar

Usain bolt is very good at running... He had tons of practice trying to escape the police when he was a kid.

Usain Bolt is already in 2016. Happy New Year !

I think my washing machine used to belong to Usain Bolt. It has a setting for fast coloureds.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown and runny? Usain Bolt.

whats brown and... What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown and runny? Usain Bolt.

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish off a race

usain bolt, the fastest man in the world, can run almost 30mph. that means if were to run in a neighborhood, he could get pulled over by the cops...for being black.

Usain Bolt wins a race in Europe [x-post from /r/meanjokes because it's not very offensive] and goes out after to celebrate. But he is refused service at the first pub he goes to. The barman shakes his head and says, "Sorry, we do not serve your type here." Bolt is not happy to hear this and orders his drink again. But the barman refuses to serve him, "Sorry, there`s a place five minutes down the road where you can get served though." Bolt then decides to use his fame to get served. "Do you…

Usain Bolt retires from running... He has been bored and looking in to a new sport to take up. He’s looking through his newspaper when he sees an advert for a new golf course in his home town. He takes a walk down and asks the receptionist about signing up. Usain Bolt “Hi, I’m here to see about joining your new golf course” Receptionist “Hmmm I’m not so sure if that would be allowed sir” Usain Bolt “ Can I ask why? Have you sold all memberships?” Receptionist “I’m afraid not sir, you see …

A man walks into a bar. By the way, I'm the guy who accidentally knocked over Usain Bolt. Sorry, I'm not good with segways.

After Usain Bolt retires, he'll move to Iran.

Usain Bolt decides to play some golf He goes into the clubhouse to get membership and play a round. The receptionist says 'Sorry sir, we don't allow black people in this club.' 'That's ridiculous. It's 2016 and you don't allow black people in this golf club?' 'Please don't make a scene sir, there's another golf club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in' 'But I'm Usain Bolt!' 'Its only 2 minutes then' Credit to /u/Ron_manager who posted this a year or so ago, it's a breath of …

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt finishes the race

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus? He awaits it at the next stop.

What is the difference between hitler and Usain bolt? (Dark joke) Usain bolt can finish a race

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain can finish a race

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus? .................He waits at the next stop!

The difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler. Usain Bolt managed to finish a race while Hitler couldn't.

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus? He waits at the next station

A lot of people are talking about Usain Bolt. I guess it's a running joke.

Usain Bolt decides to play some golf He goes into the clubhouse to get membership and play a round.