Swiss Bank Jokes

People with Swiss bank accounts are often confused between their Bank balance and the Back Account number.

It's the cheese police, you're under arrest. Looks like you've been keeping all your cheddar... In a Swiss bank account.

Q & A with Ms Sonia Ghandi Ms Sonia Ghandi is visiting a school. She goes to one class, gives a brief statement and says to the class full of rural children, ""Ask me anything!"" So Pappu stands up. ""Madam Sonia-ji, I have three questions. One, why are you not the prime minister of India; Two, who ordered the police to attack the peaceful demonstrators at Ramlila Maidan; Three, how much money do you have in your Swiss bank accounts."" Before Ms Ghandi can answer, the lunch bell rings. So af…

A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said"" I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only."" The man thought about his first wish and decided ""I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank account. POOF! Next he wished for a Ferrari red in color. POOF! There was the car sitting in front of him. He asked for his final wish "" I wish I was irresistible to women."" POOF! He…

A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it lo and behold a genie appeared. ""I will grant you three wishes"" announced the genie. ""But since Satan still hates me for every wish you make your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."" The salesman thought about this for a while. ""For my first wish I would like ten million dollars"" he announced. Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10000000 had been deposited. ""But yo…

An american walks into a swiss bank... The bank is very full so it takes a long time for it to be his turn. After an hour wait he finally gets to go up to the counter. The woman asks him how she could assist him. He looks around, making sure he cant be heard and whispers into her ear "I would like to deposit $1 million into a bank account" The woman looks a bit startled and says out loud "oh dont worry sir! You dont have to whisper, here in Switzerland its no shame to be poor."

An American walks into a swiss bank with two large bags He walks up to a teller and says quietly "I have 2 million dollars in cash that I need to deposit into a swiss bank account now" The teller replies "Sir, there's no need to whisper, poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."

Where is the capital of Zimbabwe? In a Swiss bank account.

An american walks into a swiss bank... The bank is very full so it takes a long time for it to be his turn.

An American walks into a swiss bank with two large bags He walks up to a teller and says quietly ""I have 2 million dollars in cash that I need to deposit into a swiss bank account now"

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return, I will grant you three wishes." The man says, "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red …