Royce Jokes

Birdman 2 A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man says, ""I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,"" and turns to the ostrich, ""What's yours?"" ""I'll have the same,"" says the ostrich. A short time later, the waitress returns with the order. ""That will be $6.40 please,"" and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come aga…

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich bird behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a …

A man walks into a restaurant... A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich bird behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man…

Three old men die and go to heaven... ...and St. Peter explains to them that the lives they lived on earth will determine what kind of car they drive for eternity. He looks to the first man and says ""You were a top-notch citizen your entire life. You paid your taxes, showed up for work every day, never cheated on your wife and went to church every Sunday. Well done, sir. Here's the keys to your Rolls Royce."" He looks to the second and says ""You were a decent bloke, more or less. Had a bit of …

Three men stand at the gates of heaven St. Peter looks at the 3 men and says, ""in order to get around up here, you will all need a car. In heaven, we distribute cars to everyone based on how faithful you were to your spouse before you died. The first man tells St. Peter, ""I never as much as looked at another woman. I would never even think about being with anyone except my wife."" St. Peter nods and gives the first man a brand new Rolls Royce. The second man tells St. Peter, ""I was not a perf…

The VW Genie A man was driving his brand new Rolls Royce. At the signal this beaten up Beetle stops next to him, and tells him ""Nice car! I'm willing to swap you with my car for a $1,000,000"" The rich guy looks at him and says ""why would I want your car?"" At this point the VW's driver rubs the steering wheel and out comes a genie. He tells him ""I'd like to have some tea"". In a flash it's in his hand. The Rolls' owner goes berserk, gives him the money and the Rolls, and takes the Beetle. He…

Who doesn't enjoy a blonde joke A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's pr…

A woman walked into a bank, A woman walked into a bank in New York and asked for the loan officer. She said that she was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5000. The bank officer told her that he will need some kind of security for such loan. So the woman handed over the keys of a new Rolls Royce car that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything was checked and the bank agreed to accept the car as security for the loan. An employee rode the car into …

The Ostrich A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, ""A hamburger, fries and a coke,"" and turns to the ostrich, ""What's yours?"" ""I'll have the same,"" says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. ""That will be $9.40 please."" The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, ""A hamburger,…

"" How was your blind date ? "" "" Terrible ! He showed up in a 1935 Rolls Royce. "" "" What's so terrible about that ? "" "" He was the original owner ! ""

A gentleman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the gentleman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and …

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man says, ""I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,"" and turns to the ostrich, ""What's yours?"" ""I'll have the same,"" says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. ""That will be $6.40 please,"" and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the …

3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, ""However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven"". The first guy comes up to the gate and says, ""I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her"". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce. The next man comes up and says, ""I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her."" He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven. The next guy came up and said, ""I cheated on my wife alot"". He gets a sco…

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers. When the gun was fired, the eng…

Knock Knock Who's there ! Aileen ! Aileen who ? Aileen against my Rolls Royce!

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks i…

Before going to Europe on business a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $6000. The loan officer was quite taken a back and requested collateral. ""Well then here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce"" the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping and gave him 6000. Two weeks later the man walked through the bank's doors and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. T…

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. ""Hey buddy that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!"" The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly ""Yes I have a phone."" The driver of the Yugo said ""Cool! Hey you also got a fridge in there too? I've got one in the back seat of my Yugo!"" The driver of the Rolls much annoyed says ""Yes I have a refrigerat…

What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire? A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.

Before going to Europe on business a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5000. The loan officer was quite taken a back and requested collateral. ""Well then here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce"" the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping and gave him $5000. Two weeks later the man walked through the bank's doors and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. T…

Finally, a smart blonde joke. A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's pr…

An Arab needed a heart transplant , but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the calls went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank-You Card for giving his blood along with an Expensive Diamond and a New Rolls-Royce car…

The Ostrich A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries…

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. [Long joke] A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo! " The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone. " The driver of the Yugo said, "Cool! Hey, you also got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in the …

A New York Blonde joke. A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president…