Roman Soldier Jokes

Jesus Christ is dying on the cross, his disciples are gathered around, crying. Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, ""Peter, come hither!"" Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard. He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, ""Peter, come hither!"" So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and …

Jesus Christ is covered in blood, dying on the cross.. his disciples are gathered around, crying. Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, ""Peter, come hither!"" Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard. He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, ""Peter, come hither!"" So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier d…

Jesus on the cross Jesus Christ is nailed to the cross and the disciples are gathered around, crying. Jesus calls to Peter, ""Peter, come here!"" Peter goes over to the cross, only to be hit by the roman guards. He stands up and wants to return to the other disciples and Jesus calls to him again. ""Peter, come here!"" So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and says if Peter comes back they will but his arms and legs off. Peter is getti…

Jesus Christ is dying on the cross... ... and his disciples are gathered around, crying. Peter, looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, ""Peter, Peter, come!"". Peter rushes over to the cross, only to have his right arm cut off by the roman guard. He gets up and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, ""Peter, Peter, come!"" So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and chops Peter's othe…

Jesus was on a walk in town one day... When he crossed paths with a Roman soldier. Feeling particularly cool, Jesus put his hand up for a hi-five while passing by. The Roman soldier, having ill feelings towards Jesus' teachings and following, simply grunted and ignored Jesus. Jesus was a little disappointed so he then turned around and said, ""Aww come on man, don't leave me hanging!""

A Roman soldier meets another soldier on the road ""Excuse me"" the first soldier asks ""have you crossed Jesus anywhere, by any chance?""

I used to work at... I used to work at a 7/11. A lady comes in and asks for a chewy candy bar. Let's just say I gave her my *big hunk* I used to work at a fabric shop. A lady came in one day and asked for some fabric. Let's just say she got *felt*. I used to work in a bakery. A lesbian came in one day and asked for some sponge biscuits to eat. Let's just say she got some *lady fingers* inside of her. I used to work as a Roman soldier. A lady came in one day and wanted to be crucified. Let's just…

1st Roman Soldier: What is the time ? 2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII !

Jesus Christ is dying on the cross, his disciples are gathered around, crying. Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, "Peter, come hither!" Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard. He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, "Peter, come hither!" So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword …

Roman soldier says, "We lost a man and now number only 99". His centurion replies, "I see". The soldier responds... No, XCIX

Judas: the one I bestow with a kiss is the christ Roman soldier: can't you like... point at him or something? Judas (putting on lipstick): I don't tell you how to do your job!

A roman soldier walks into a bar A roman soldier walks into a bar and asks for a *martinus*.

What did the Roman soldier say when Jesus whispered his dying words on the cross? Come again?

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus? Nailed it