Rocky Mountains Jokes

they probably named the Rocky mountains first and then saw all the other mountains and were like "oh"

A Saskatchewan Farmer Retires A 65 year old Saskatchewan farmer decides to retire and move to the Rocky Mountains after living his whole life on the prairies. A few months later a friend comes to visit. ""What do you think of the mountains?"" his friend asks. ""They are okay, but they sure obscure the view.""

Two priests die at the same time and meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, ""I'd like to get you guys in now but our computers are down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as humans. What'll it be?"" The first priest says, ""I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."" ""So be it,"" says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, ""Will you be keeping track of us…

The Rocky Mountains Ever since Colorado passed amendment 64, legalizing marijuana, there have been talks of renaming the Rocky Mountains to the Stoney Mountains.

Dan's Lip ""How'd you get that cut on your lip?"" Said Joe to Dan. ""Well, that's a hell of a story!"" Dan replied. ""You see, two weeks ago I kissed my girl goodbye, and took off backpacking in the Rocky Mountains. Only a few hours into my trek, I was charged by a furious grizzly bear."" ""Holy cow!"" Joe said. ""You were lucky to get away with just a busted lip!"" ""Nah, I just blasted him with pepper spray and he ran off into the bush."" ""Then what happened to your lip?"" ""I'm getting to th…

The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an echo to bounce back off one of these mountains. One night a camper in the Rockies went to sleep early. But before climbing into his sleeping bag he yelled 'Time to get up.' And eight hours later the echo came back and woke him up!

McNally was taking his first plane ride flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. ""It's to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes"" she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. ""Miss"" he said ""I'm meetin' me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?""

An airplane was losing altitude over the Rocky Mountains. The pilot over the intercom said that the entire luggage needed to be thrown overboard if they were to survive. After all the luggage was thrown the plane was still going down so they asked for volunteers. A man from Paris went to the door and said ""Viva la France."" Next a preacher went to the door and said ""Lord forgive me for what I must do."" Finally a rich Texas cattle rancher said ""Well guess I got to do my part"" and he grabbed…

My Dad's bear story. A long time ago, my Dad worked on the Canadian Geographic Survey, which took him into the Rocky Mountains. He told me this story about it. Dad: I was working with my coworker all day, and then we returned to camp and started cooking dinner. The smell must have carried on the wind, and attracted the wildlife, because I turned around, and there was a full grown Grizzly Bear in the middle of the camp! Me: :-O What did you do? Dad: I picked up some shit, and threw it rig…

Two men die and show up at the Pearly Gates together St Peter greets them. "Gentleman, welcome to Heaven. I've got bad news and good news for you. The bad news is that Heaven is currently full. There was some sort of screw-up in the scheduling department, and we don't have rooms for you guys. We won't have available rooms for 2 weeks. The good news is we'll send you back to Earth for those two weeks, doing whatever you want, in whatever form you want. What would you like?' "Well," says the fir…