Road When Jokes

A man is driving down the road... When he comes to a stop sign. But he doesn't see anyone around, so he just slows down. However, a police officer was watching the intersection and pulls the man over. The cop says ""Sir, why didn't you stop at the stop sign?"" The man says ""Well there was no one around so I just slowed down."" To which the cop replies ""Sir, it's a stop sign. You have to stop"" ""Well I slowed down! what's the difference?"" The cop says ""Sir, get out of the car,"" and the cop …

So a penguin is driving down the road.. .. When his car starts to make funny noises. The penguin gets a little worried, and decides to go to the nearest mechanic. He sees the auto-shop just down the road, and pulls into the garage. He asks the mechanic to check his car out and the mechanic says ""Sure, come back in half an hour or so."" So the penguin is sitting in the waiting room patiently and notices an ice cream parlour. He goes and buys himself a cone. He's about half done when he realizes …

A Texan cowboy was walking down the road When a little old lady walked up to him and asked, ""Are you one of those cowboys every body talks about?"" ""Why yes ma'am I am."" He replied ""The ones who ride around on horses and herd cattle?"" She continued. ""Yes ma'am I am."" ""The kind who ties up those calves and brands them?"" She inquired ""Yes ma'am I am"" Obviously displeased she scowled at him and said ""Well you ought to be hung!"" The cowboy smiled and replied, ""Yes ma'am I am.""

Last night, after full rehearsal of stage drama, I was taking a walk on the road... When I walked past a convenient store I thought of going in to buy something. Then I realised that I didn't have money with me. So I phoned my family to bring some money to me. While waiting for my money, I saw an old man burning joss paper by the road side. I went to have a chat with him ""What are you doing here ? "" I asked him ""I m sending money to my family "" he said. Then he asked me, "" What are you doin…

A rabbit is walking along a long road When he spots on old tavern up ahead. Its been a long journey so he decides to pop in for a little break. He appoaches the bar and orders a pint of ale and asks what food is on offer. ""Tonights special is toasted sandwiches, cheese, tomato or ham"" the landlord says. ""Great, I'll have a pint and a toasted cheese sandwich please. Oh and take one for yourself"" says the bunny cheerfully He takes a seat, eats his toasted sandwich and drinks his pint. then he …

Two Jewish men are walking down the road... When one spots a small yellow envelope on the ground. It's blank so he opens it, out falls $500 cash and a payslip. His friend says 'Wow, you are so lucky!' He says: 'Lucky? Look how much tax I am paying!'

A LESSON IN MORALS One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. ""My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."" When t…

What's black and white and red all over? * When I tell it: a new paper. * When my kids tell it: a newspaper. Kids ask, ""What's a newspaper?"" * When my grandchildren tell it: Road kill. Kids ask, 'What's a road?"" * When an otter tells it: My date, the baby seal.

A man was walking down a country road... When he heard a voice coming from behind a tree, but all he could see was a horse. ""Hello, remember me?"" the voice said. ""I won the Kentucky Derby two years ago."" ""A talking horse!"" the man exclaimed, so he rushed to a nearby field where he found was working and asked, ""What would you take for the horse?"" ""That horse is no good, you can have him for twenty dollars."" ""Twenty dollars! I'll give you two thousand!"" ""Has that old haybag been givin…