Rep Jokes

A charitable organization noticed that the richest man in town had never donated. A representative of the organization called the man. "Our research shows that you make millions of dollars a year, and we were wondering if you'd like to donate some amount to help those in need." The man responded, "Did your research show you that my mother is suffering from a chronic illness, and cannot afford her medical bills?" "Erm, no..." "Did your research take into account my sister, whose husband died…

Why hasn't the towns most successful lawyer ever made a donation? ... A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied,…

The Most Successful lawyer........... A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also sh…

The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer... So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community? The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is …

Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity... ... "You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any employees." The cannibals promised they would not. Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole c…

The local United Way office never got a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The local United Way office realized it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. A fundraiser called him up and said, "Sir, our research shows that you have an income of over $600,000, but you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to your community?" The lawyer replied, "Did your research show that my mother is dying form a long illness and her me…

Lawyer Joke The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?' The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your r…

Life lesson A sales rep, an admin clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and t…

The local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community?. The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying af…

Electrical Hum - True story Was working on a Generator switchgear with the factory representative who was from Ireland and we had the generators running and the electrical panel open with all the thick bare copper busbars visible. As most may know anything with a ton of electricity flowing through it makes this humming sound. I told the rep that the hum always makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He said " Do u know why it hums?" Me, expecting a technical response, " No I dont kn…

If you think lawyers don't have hearts, read this The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying,'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way ?' The lawyer thinks for a …

A man marches to H.R. to complain that his paycheque is $50 short. He arrives in the H.R. office and slams his paycheque on the desk. "This is an outrage!" The rep apologizes for the error, then begins to investigate the issue on her computer. Suddenly, she's smirking. "Oh, I see. You're coming here to complain that we underpaid you by $50 this week. But you certainly didn't complain when we **over**paid you by $50 last week." The man points his finger at the woman: "Listen, one mistake …

Lesson 2 of 6: The Boss A sales rep

A sales rep an administration clerk

Why does coffee have such a bad reputation? My wife and I had differing opinions on this. (One dad joke style and one completely non-pc) Looking forward to hearing from the masses. Edit: because apparently everyone wants the answer to the joke and nobody can think for themselves. I said : "coffee gets a bad rep because it's black" She said : "it gets mud everywhere" Yes it's a bad joke. I'm sorry

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long i…