President Obamas Jokes

BREAKING: Republicans may oppose President Obama's decision to skip breakfast.

Obama was scheduled to visit a Catholic church... An aide to President Barack Obama visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in Washington. He told the Cardinal that President Barack Obama would be attending the next mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Obama to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Obama a saint. The Cardinal replied, ""No. I don't really like the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of …

Fox News and Obama Fox News is cowering down to the President... In response to President Obama's complaint that FOX News doesn't show enough Black and Hispanic people on their network, FOX has announced that they will now air ""America's Most Wanted"" TWICE a week.

Lie Clocks A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.' 'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.' 'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that on…

ObamaCare explained by a Chicago Plumber to Obama himself Chicago Plumber Only weeks after leaving office on January 20, 2017, former President Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Troy the Plumber to come out and fix it. Troy drives to President Obama's new house, which is located in a very exclusive, gated community near Chicago, where all the residents have a net income of way more than $250,000 per year. Troy arrives and takes his tools into the house. He is led to the g…

My friend Larry says he knows everyone... During President Obama's inauguration, Larry told me, ""You know, Obama and I are buddies."" said, ""Sure you are."" He said, ""No, really! Just turn on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me."" Sure enough, I turned on the TV that night, and there was Larry, talking to President Obama with his arm around the guy. Not long after, I was talking to Larry about how much I like Jennifer Lawrence. Larry said, ""Oh, she's a good friend of mine.""…

Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how the unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars' worth of expensive high tech e…

What's President Obama's favorite vegetable? Barack-oli

Topical Jokes (5/20) Welcome back, everybody! We've got some more news and, thus, more jokes. Let's get started. Right off the bat, more on President Obama. Following a week of scandals, President Obama played golf with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. Things got a little tense when Obama had IRS agents audit LaHood's claim that it only took him two strokes to clear the hole 17 bunker. Interesting story, the Dalai Lama recently gave a commencement speech in the US. It was at this University …