Nicholas Jokes

One time a baby threw up in my mouth & it still wasn't as disgusting as Nicholas Cage's haircut in National Treasure 2.

Russian political joke from time of the Russian Empire A man in the street shouts: ""Nicholas is a moron!"" (Nicholas is a common Russian given name, it's also the name of two Russian emperors). He is naturally arrested by the police and charged with insulting the emperor. He tells the officer: ""I meant another Nicholas"". The officer answers: Do no be silly. If you said 'moron', you obviously meant our Emperor!""

What was one thing Nicholas the 2nd of Russia not good at? Czarcasm.

Three men and a phone there are three men in a bar who are all just a bit drunk but in their senses. Their names are Billy, Nicholas, and Josh. A phone rings and Nicholas picks up. it was his girlfriend. she asks Nicholas if she can buy a brand new TV set with his money and he says why not, go ahead. she then asked if she could get a new pool built outside her house with his credit card. Nicholas says it's fine with him. She finally asks if she could buy the latest car with the credit card and h…

The man who knew everyone There once was a man named Tom and one day he was bragging to his coworkers that he knew everyone who was anyone and everyone knew him. After a couple of weeks of hearing this, Tom's boss, Fred, decided to show that this was all a bunch of bullshit. Fred takes Tom to Hollywood and asks him to get Nicholas Cage's autograph. Sure enough, an hour later Tom comes walking in with the autograph and Mr. Cage himself. Fred is impressed, but still not 100% sure about Tom's popul…

An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II) A man yells in the street: ""Nicholas is a moron!"". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen ""Please let me go

Euro 2016 Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go. If you are interested and want to go instead of me ... ... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.

Nicholas is walking on a street which has clock tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Nicholas says “Yes”. “Give me a thousand dollars and I’ll go get a ladder”. The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours, Nicholas figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day, Nicholas is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock, “Give me a thousand dollars and I’ll go get a ladder.” Nicholas gives him the …

Nicholas was driving along a country lane the other day when a man in a car driving in the opposite direction wound his window down and shouted, “Pig” Nicholas thought, “How rude!” just as his car hit the pig.

Nicholas: “Mike has given me his goat.” Mother: “But you can’t keep it here. What about the smell?” Nicholas: “It is all right. The goat will not mind it!”