The man who knew everyone There once was a man named Tom and one day he was bragging to his coworkers that he knew everyone who was anyone and everyone knew him. After a couple of weeks of hearing this, Tom's boss, Fred, decided to show that this was all a bunch of bullshit. Fred takes Tom to Hollywood and asks him to get Nicholas Cage's autograph. Sure enough, an hour later Tom comes walking in with the autograph and Mr. Cage himself. Fred is impressed, but still not 100% sure about Tom's popularity, so he takes him to the Vatican and says, ""If you know everyone, go onto the Vatican's balcony with the pope."" Tom says that will be easy because he since all of the guards know him, it should be a cinch. Sure enough, half an hour later, out comes Tom with the pope one the balcony. He goes down to see his boss and finds him on a stretcher being lifted onto an ambulance. Tome asks what happened and Fred replies, ""Everything was going great until the guy next to me said, 'Who's that guy with Tom?'. Then I had a heart attack.""