NASA Jokes

NASA CHICKEN CANON NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes

Space monkeys NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready

Mars and NASA Mars: Come over NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away Mars: I'm wet NASA: I'm coming over

Why do redditors hate the robot NASA sent to Mars? Because Curiosity killed the cat!

Why is NASA having a lawsuit filed against them from animal protection? ...because curiosty killed the cat

What the NSA say to NASA? You're a day late and a dolla short!

Why do animal rights activists hate NASA? Because curiosity killed the cat.

How does NASA organise a party? They Planet.

Why did the otter want to work at NASA? So he could go to Otter Space.

How do you call a black man in space? Nasa first called it Albert

Why is it NASA has never sent a woman to the moon? It don't need cleaning!

Why does NASA drink sprite? Because they couldn't get 7up

Did you know that NASA sent a bunch of cows into orbit? It was the herd shot round the world.

How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

NASA decided to send a team of astronauts to the moon to investigate once and for all whether or not it was made of cheese. They deliberately landed on a part of the moon not visited by previous missions and set about taking samples from the moon's surface. At first the rugged terrain offered no evidence of cheese but as they ventured further from their spacecraft, they came across an area of outstanding natural beauty where the ground was pure brie. They reported back the exciting news to missi…

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo expedition, they did some training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo Indian and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated: "What are these guys in the big suits doing?" A member of the crew said they were practising for their forthcoming trip to the moon, whereupon the old man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon wit…

NASA launched a rocket to Mars with an American and two monkeys on board. NASA radioed the first monkey and said: "Adjust oxygen 20 per cent, stop radar and phase to warp factor three." The first monkey replied: "Okay, roger that." NASA then radioed the second monkey: "Switch off engine three, start the radiation shield and adjust the anti-gravitation throttle." "Roger that," said the second monkey. Then NASA radioed the American: "Feed the monkeys and don't touch a goddamn thing!"

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically for launching dead chickens at the windshields of civilian airplanes, jet fighters and the space shuttle, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent collisions with airborne fowl and to test the strength of the windshields in such situations. British engineers heard about the special gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. So it was arranged that one of the guns should be sent to t…

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one person could go and he will not return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars”, he answered, “because I wish to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. ]He asked for two million dollars. “I wish to give a million to my family, he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.” The last…

There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician "I want to go to the moon". The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says "I want to go to Mars". He says she can go next week. The blonde says "I want to go to the sun". The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says "Well then I'll go at night."