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This must have been written before cell phones Two guys were taking Chemistry at the University of Mississippi. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid ""A"". These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to the University of Tennessee and party with some friends. They had a great time, however, with ha

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2 college friends skip studying for Chemistry final to party Two guys were taking Chemistry at the University of Mississippi. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid ""A"". These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to the University of Tennessee and party with some friends. They had a great time, ho

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A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, ""Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"" The doctor replied, ""Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."" The lawyer looked puzzled. ""Gee,"" he asked, ""how do you start a flood?""

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George Phillips of Meridian , Mississippi was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked ""Is someone in your house?"" He said ""No."" Then they said ""All patrols were busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."" George s

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To a person in the US, it is anybody from the South. To somebody in the South, it is anybody in Mississippi. To a person in Mississippi it is somebody who lives in a mobile home. To somebody in MS living in a mobile home, it is a guy who drives a pickup. To a MS guy in a trailer house who drives a pickup, it is a guy who drives a pickup with a Dale Earnhart decal on it. To a MS guy in a trailer house with a decal of Dale Earnhart on his pickup, a redneck is somebody who drives around with his do

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This must have been written before cell phones Two guys were taking Chemistry at the University of Mississippi. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid "A". These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to the University of Tennessee and party with some friends. They had a great time, however, with

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2 Italian immigrants get on a bus A woman is sitting on a bus, and 2 Italian immigrants come sit down in front of her, she overhears one speaking to the other: "Fredo, Emma come-a first, Then-a I come-a, Then-a the two asses they come-a together, Then-a I come-a again, Then-a the two asses, they come-a together again, Then-a I come-a, Then-a I pee 2 times, Then-a I come-a one last time." Offended she gets up and scolds the two men "You foul mouthed abhorrent men, in this country we do not spe

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"No Jews Allowed" A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner: 'Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send three well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversa

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There were two friars from Mississippi... They decided they weren't getting paid enough, but they were peaceful people and didn't want to protest. Instead, they got a second job. They opened a flower shop together. It was going pretty well, and everybody loved the supposedly blessed flowers, but soon enough the competition got jealous. They claimed that it was illegal to sell the flowers in the name of the Lord. Being Mississippi, the court sided in favor of the friars and said they could s

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This Exam Is FINAL Two guys were taking Chemistry at the University of Mississippi. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid "A". These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to the University of Tennessee and party with some friends. They had a great time, however, with hangovers and everything, th

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A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner: "Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance." "They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM

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Offended woman A woman on a bus overheard a man, obviously a foreigner, talking to his companion while he said, “Emma coma first, I coma next, two assa coma together, I coma again, two assa coma together again, I coma once-a-more, den pee-pee twice, den I coma for da lasta time.” The woman, disgusted by the filthy language, and noting a policeman sitting ahead of her said, “Sir can you arrest this man, or at least give him a warning?” “For what?,” asked the policeman, “for spelling Mississipp

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A Union Brothel A grumpy old man walks into a brothel and asks the madam "Is this a union brothel?" "No, sir," she replies "I've owned and operated this bordello for 50 years without a union!" "Well, I'm a union man, so I only visit union brothels!" the man replies as he slams the door on his way out. Three more cathouses, the same thing. Until he visits the very last bang shack in town; where the madam says "Why yes, we're the only union pleasure house this side of the Mississippi!" "That's

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Captain A U.S. Navy cruiser pulled into port in Mississippi for a week's liberty.The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner: “Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's coming of age party. I would like you to send four well mannered, handsome, unmarried officers. They should arrive at 8 p.m. prepared for an evening of polite southern conversation and dance with lovely young ladies. One l

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A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner: "Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be

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How to get police to show up on time George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an office

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