Milton Jones Jokes

Some people just don't understand evolution. I was talking to an Australian the other day who actually thought *he* came from Darwin! All credit to Milton Jones for that one.

If there'd been a mix up my uncle could have been President of the United States He was an army undertaker, also known as a 'barrack embalmer' \- Milton Jones

As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day It's lucky my older brother told me about it really... \- Milton Jones

My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. -Milton Jones

The pollen count that's a difficult job! [Credit to Milton Jones]

My friend drowned last week My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. -Milton Jones

If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver. Courtesy of Milton Jones, more jokes of his here. Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/search?q=Milton%20Jones#ixzz3DeZDequD

I do whatever I can to fight poverty So the other day, I punched a tramp (Courtesy of Milton Jones)

Toward the end of Sunday service, the minister asked the congregation: "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" Eighty per cent held up their hands. The minister then repeated his question, and all held up their hands except one little old lady. "Miss Carey," said the minister, "are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly. "Miss Carey, that is very unusual," said the minister. "How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," she replied. "Wonderful!" gus…