Some people just don't understand evolution. I was talking to an Australian the other day who actually thought *he* came from Darwin! All credit to Milton Jones for that one.

If there'd been a mix up my uncle could have been President of the United States He was an army undertaker, also known as a 'barrack embalmer' \- Milton Jones

As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day It's lucky my older brother told me about it really... \- Milton Jones

My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. -Milton Jones