Mary She Jokes

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service and she's in tears. He says, ""So what's bothering you, Mary, my dear?"" She says, ""Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."" The priest says, ""Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"" She says, ""That he did, Father."" The priest says, ""What did he ask, Mary?"" She says, ""He said, please Mary, put down that damn gun...""

Dave's Toast Dave O'Reilly was in the pub one night. When time came to give toasts, he hoisted his whiskey and said, ""Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, ""I won the prize for the best toast of the night."" She said, ""Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"" Dave said, ""Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."" ""O…

Best cheers at the bar! John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ""Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, ""I won the prize for the best toast of the night."" She said, ""Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"" John said, ""Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."" ""Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!"" Mary said. The …

Old Man John wins a contest at the bar... Old Man John hoisted his beer and said, ""Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!"" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, ""I won the prize for the best toast of the night."" She said, ""Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"" John said, ""Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."" ""Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!"" …

Poor ol' John O'Reiley... John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife !' Now that won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, ' I won the prize for the best toast of the night.' She said 'Aye, did ye now, and what was your toast?' John said, 'Heres to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife'. Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said. The next d…

A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and decided to have a contest regarding who could make the best toast. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ""Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!"" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, ""I won the prize for the best toast of the night."" She said, ""Aye, what was your toast?"" Jo…

The Grieving Wife Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, ""So what's bothering you,dear?"" She says, ""Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."" The priest says, ""Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"" She says, ""That he did, Father..."" The priest says, ""What did he ask, Mary?"" She says, ""He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that darned gun!'""

An Irishman walks into a bar... An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out!” said the Irishman. An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on…

Irish Humor John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mar…

Irish Joke John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran i…

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night” She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?” John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.” “Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one …

Mary, did he have any last requests? Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?' She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.' The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?' She says, 'That he did, Father.' The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?' She says, 'He said, Please Mary, put down that damn gun.....'

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun...""

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, John, what was your toast?" John Said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John," Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on…