Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service and she's in tears. He says, ""So what's bothering you, Mary, my dear?"" She says, ""Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."" The priest says, ""Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"" She says, ""That he did, Father."" The priest says, ""What did he ask, Mary?"" She says, ""He said, please Mary, put down that damn gun...""

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun...""

The Grieving Wife Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, ""So what's bothering you,dear?"" She says, ""Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."" The priest says, ""Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"" She says, ""That he did, Father..."" The priest says, ""What did he ask, Mary?"" She says, ""He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that darned gun!'""

Poor Boudreaux . . . Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a little lumber from that new construction site." Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son? Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a long time. I'm afraid that someone will break their leg, so I fix the hole." Priest: "Well, that's not so bad." Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a little lumber left." Priest: "What did you do with it? Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog Phi…