Isaac Newton Jokes

Before Isaac Newton discovered gravity everyone had to glue themselves down.

Isaac Newton was the pride of the family until his great great grandson Fig was born.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac Newton died a virgin. Repost.

Best Student reply to Teacher Physics Teacher: ""Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"" Student: ""Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything.""

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and go seek Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting, while Pascal dashes off to hide. Newton stays where he is and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square in the dirt and steps into it. Once Einstein finishes counting, he notices Newton and says ""AHA, I've found you Newton!"" To which Isaac Newton replies ""you didn't find Newton, Albert. You found a Pascal""

Isaac Newton hears his parents screaming at each other one afternoon Mrs. Newton: ""I've had enough of this. I want a divorce!"" Mr. Newton: ""But why?"" Mrs. Newton: ""Do you think I don't know about the other women? How stupid are you? I can see the tramp's lipstick on your cheek."" Mr. Newton touches his cheek, a perplexed look on his face. Isaac, saddened by their fighting, runs out the door. He's soon sitting in an orchard, taking shelter beneath an apple tree. He thinks he's finally found …

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton? He sat under the durian tree.

Isaac Newton's theory. Isaac Newton was outside trying to explains the forces of the world and then it hit him.

Isaac Newton couldn't become a surgeon ... because blood is non-Newtonian!

So Isaac Newton sits under a coconut tree...

A friend asked me, ""Did you know Isaac Newton died a virgin""? I replied, ""What colour?""

If Isaac Newton discovered gravity Why isn't he in the credits? (Crossposted from /r/shittyaskscience)

Why did Isaac Newton marry an obese woman? Because the greater the mass the greater the attraction.

What are your favorite "science" jokes? Mine are Isaac Newton was a mathematician and physics scholar who transformed our scientific world. He developed the theories of gravitation. He invented calculus. And then he turned 25. Daddy, daddy, I'm cold. Go stand in the corner. Why? There's 90 degrees.

isaac newton died a virgin. This means that i have a 1 up on one of history's greatest scientific geniuses. Im not dead

Isaac Newton died a virgin. That means I have one up on history's greatest scientific genius. Because I'm not dead.

Isaac Newton Albert Einstein and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Did you hear that Apple Guy died? R.I.P. Isaac Newton

My friend told me I was smart enough to be the next Isaac Newton... Well Newton died a lonely virgin so clearly I'm doing something right

Whats the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby i just killed? Newton died a virgin

Two factory workers talking: Woman Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine? He knew better than to drink and derive.

Isaac Newton being the big pimp Mack daddy he is

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed? Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple? He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.