Best Student reply to Teacher Physics Teacher: ""Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"" Student: ""Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything.""

In grade 5 during biology my teacher asked me "what is in cells?" I answered my Uncle Eric and Dad and she made me go home.

I wonder what TSA would do if I brought a block of ice through airport security. My physics teacher said it's not a liquid.

just ran into my high school biology teacher. she said "i figured you'd have cured cancer by now." then i washed bird shit off her tahoe